Month: November 2013

Don’t embarrass yourself by asking a vegan these questions…

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koko vegan foods

The holiday season is probably one of the most obnoxious times of year for vegans; and not because of the limited food selection at holiday parties, but because of the obnoxious questions people ask vegans. 

Disclaimer: I’m not against those who show a genuine interest in the vegan lifestyle because they themselves desire or are in the process of transitioning into veganism. By all means- spread the knowledge- more power to ya. 

My complaint is about those who word-vomit out obnoxious questions because they A.) have nothing better to ask or more interesting to say. or B.) find veganism to be a joke, and ask dumb questions, seeking a humorous or defensive response.

Here is a list of recommended things to NOT ask a vegan/vegetarian (to save yourself from looking stupid in front of everyone at the next holiday gathering)

1. Why did you choose to become vegan?

–It’s pretty fucking obvious bro. It either has to do with respect towards animal rights, or just being health conscientiousness. Duh.

2. How long have you been vegan? 

–Does it really fucking matter? It could be 2 days, it could be 20 years. Does the amount of time I’ve committed to this lifestyle affect how you perceive me as a person? Does it determine how seriously you take everything else I have to say? I’d fucking hope not.

3. So where do you get your protein?

–Acknowledge the year 2013, brohammer. Not only does every major grocery on this island have an extensive selection of vegan, protein-packed, meat alternatives; but if you’d fucking pick up a nutrition book- you’d realize all of the protein alternatives that exist naturally in the environment. By way of beans, legumes, and vegetables. Break out of this meat-revolving world you live in. Wake up and smell the quinoa, son.

4. So, do you think you’ll be able to stay vegan forever?

— I don’t know; do you think you’ll wake up tomorrow with a pulse and with air in your lungs? Lets fucking hope so.

5. But don’t you ever miss meat!?
–Do you ever wish you inner most important morals and ethics would cease to exist so you can carry out the most inhumane and unethical desires of the subconscious? Not really bro. I believe what I believe for a reason. It’s not just for kicks and giggles.

6. So if you were to have children, would you breast feed them? Because breast milk is milk, right?

–You nimrod – do you understand that humans are the ONLY species that exist on EARTH that drink the milk of a DIFFERENT species?? That’s not fucking normal. We humans are going against nature trying to steal the milk of another species. Growing infants borne of mammals are expected to consume the milk of their mothers to gain the necessary nutrients for growth and survival through life’s early stages. Nowhere else in nature do you see mammals drinking other mammals milk (unless in very, very extreme circumstances like abandoned baby mammals in the wild that are adopted into other species, but again- that is VERY rare).

7. I’ve been wanting to lose some weight, perhaps I should just go vegan.

–Veganism is not a fad diet trend, nor a quick way to lose weight by any means. Take your ass to the fucking gym and hop on a treadmill. The best way to lose weight is through a simple math equation: calories out> calories in. Which means- burn more calories than you consume- and you will start losing weight. People who go vegan for the wrong reasons are the ones who usually end up to be the most sick, nutrient-deprived, and borderline obese ‘vegans’ that I meet. They don’t know what the hell they’re doing with their diets or bodies, and get frustrated when they find out that veganism isn’t some miracle fad diet that makes you shed 20 lbs in 3 days.

8. So what you do eat anyways? Lettuce?

–Here we go again mother fucker. Read a fucking recipe book. It’s not your fault you’re so narrow-minded, I shouldn’t hold it against you that you’re so sheltered. The typical western-American diet revolves around meat and some type of carb. So basically, meat and potatoes. Or meat and rice. Open your mind and taste palate to the entire world that exists outside of your binary framework. I actually cook and eat some of the most interesting and diverse foods. Now that I’m vegan, I constantly read, research, and test out new foods, recipes and styles of cooking- and it’s fun! Every day in the kitchen is like a new experiment. And not a day goes by that I don’t consume some type of leafy greens.

9. What about your dog? Dogs are meant to eat meat…

–Dogs are only meant to eat meat as much as you believe they are. The truth is, for as long as dogs have been humans’ pets, they have eaten the scraps of whatever we eat. Which can include meats, but also an enormous amount of vegetables, nuts and other lentils. My dog enjoys a fully vegan diet, rich with nutrients, and he’s never been happier, healthier, and had a more shiny coat. For a pure-bred pitbull, I have no doubt that he’ll live to be in his mid-late teens. (He’s 9 years old currently).

10. Will you be bothered if I eat meat in front of you? I feel guilty.

–I don’t believe in shoving my opinions down other peoples’ throats. Eat whatever you want, it’s your body- not mine. If you come to me for help or advice, I’ll gladly give it. But don’t feel like you can’t be who you are in front of me. I wont judge you for what you eat, so don’t judge me either.

-KokoKai

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Getting Old: Pop-Punk Shows and I

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Mayday Parade

So I went to a pop-punk show, The Glamour Kills Tour, two weeks back. I believe it was about two weeks back; I know I’ve been lazy and neglected to write about it. But hey (!) life is rather difficult when you work two jobs and consistently drinking all the time because I’m a product of a jobless post-grad world and there is always something fun to do in San Francisco. Well anyways, after attending TGKT, I thought (or even while still at the show) that maybe I might be getting a little too old for pop-punk shows.

I’m writing this in this blog because I don’t think this is going to be much of a music and show review as much as me complaining about how I’m getting old.

The show was held at Slim’s, a commonly used venue for all types of rock music. The last time I was there, I saw Four Year Strong. And that was a good, sweaty, moshed filled show.

TGKT was composed of four bands: Stages & Stereos, Cartel, Man Overboard, and featuring Mayday Parade. These four bands are of the sub-rock-sub-punk genre pop-punk.

To explain it would be actually pretty simple, it’s like punk music, but poppy. And the girls, which was one of the reasons why I really got into pop-punk in high school, besides me going through this sad self-loathing “emo” phase, kinda dress like actual punk-girls, but with more upkeep and make-up. They’re kinda like if a preppy girl combined with a punk girl, creating a product of hotness!!!

Prior to going into this, I knew that night was going to be filled with young tweens, mostly girls and some guys. Although, some of the guys were also wearing tight skinny jeans, with their hair also long, which resemble feminine characteristics. I don’t know or how to explain the style, but looking back at it now, I can say, who once was teenager who went through that phase, we all have baggage.

But anyways, I knew there were going to be young tweens at the show. I thought, “it’s a Monday, a school night. How bad could it be?” To my surprised, the show sold out and the tweens were out in herds, ready for a night of loud and angry and jumpily and emotional teenager drama music.

I know my friends always joke about me gunning for younger girls because I’m in a fraternity and still work at Abercrombie, but this was too much. I was surprised at what some of the girls were wearing. Now I believe that a girl can wear whatever she wants, but see this through the eyes of a future father, I was concerned.

It was that moment that my mind clicked, grinding its gears, churning the brain cells that I have left after the damage of Hurricane College; I realized that I’m getting old, and this might be one of those moments where I shouldn’t be at (unless I was escorting my well clothed daughter of course).

Back when I was young, these girls would have been my Muse and the boys my friends amigos. But then and there, I played the role of an awkward father who didn’t know what he was taking his daughter to.

Thank God that I had my friend Ivette there. She was actually the one who wanted to go, not I. But seeing how the bands Cartel and Mayday Parade got me through some tough depressing high school drama Bullsh*t of my life, I decided to accompany her. This of course gave me the “Get-out-of-jail-from-being-that-creepy-older-guy-at-a-pop-punk-show.”

Once I got my cold shivering body through the venue entrance, I did what every normal of-age adult would do at a tween gathering, HEAD STRAIGHT TO THE BAR! Luckily the beers weren’t too expensive, six bucks. I’ve been going to the Fillmore and their beers are nine.

After the first beer was gone, I fuckin’ pounded a second one, just to make sure the shame and creepy feeling of being at a pop-punk show (where I only like and not love the headlining band) would go away. Or at least numb me over a little.

I mean aside from being around teenagers that night, because all the older kids like me who also like pop-punk have real jobs after college unlike I, the bands were pretty good. I was mainly there for Cartel and Mayday Parade. I’ve never heard of Stages & Stereo and Man Overboard, but they were good.

I have NOT been keeping up with these bands. And I know they have grown as musicians, creating new forms of art in the form of music, but I just hoped to God that they play their old stuff. The little 16 year old tween inside me wanted to hear “Honestly” and “Say Anything Else” by Cartel and “Jamie All Over” and “Miserable At Best” by Mayday Parade.

Well, ask and you shall receive!

Cartel and Mayday Parade thankfully played the only four songs that I willingly paid 25 bucks for. Everything else was just a test from God, nay, a trial of my faith, to ensure that I was the chosen one to hear the sweet sound of emotional teen rock.

Here is a video of Cartels “Honestly” from that night:

This video is Mayday Parades “Miserable at Best.” This song, along with All Time Lows “Remembering Sunday,” was on my break-up playlist years ago when this girl (stupid b*tch, I know) broke my naive Asian heart. Ask my friend Jose, he will tell you what a sad sack of shit I was.

Oh my heart felt those young love pains at that moment. Them feels.

After the show was over and it was all said and done, I grabbed my friend and got the fuck out of there before some father mistook me for a creepy college dude who’s trying to bang-out their daughter.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making fun of pop-punk . . . well maybe a little. But this was just one of those things where I realize that I now have to pick and chose what I attend to. Whether it be an underground rave or some rock show, I will now have feelings of displacement during some events because of my age and that stage of “growing up.” (Post-grad problems again) If you love the music, then keep going. I’m not advising you not to. Hell, I’m pretty sure this won’t be my last pop-punk show because I still want to see Forever the Sickest Kids. See, there is still a little emo-Asian boy inside me.

Now this doesn’t mean that I’m gonna buy a three-piece-suit and go on a wine-and-cheese escapade, I’m just saying maybe my Monday nights are better spend working on my fiction and hanging out with girls around my age . . . or at least girls who are 18 with a fake ID.

Random Texts, KokoandAirec Style

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take some preworkout and stop being a little bitchfriendship like this

It has been awhile since one of us has posted anything, which we’re sorry for. So I (airec) took the time to write down some of the random text messages we corresponded over the weekend, which involves ice-skating, a tween rock show, fitness motivation, and aimless humor that probably doesn’t make much sense to anyone but us.

So enjoy!

Me: Who knew that ice skating without fireball in you is a lot easier; you don’t trip over little kids

Koko: Buuut ice skating with Koko and fireball is way funner!

Me: Iono, going ice skating with this girl, her boyfriend, and the finger blaster does have its benefits

Koko: haha, I love that his name is finger blaster >.<

Me: haha, and you wanted to name him Tecate!!!!

Koko: Hahaha I thought Tecate would be a more appropriate rave name. But Finger Blaster is a funny nick name

Me: I guess that’s more of his bro-rave name #B4L

Koko: What’s my #B4L nickname?

Me: Iono, I like KokoKai. What’s my #B4L nickname?

Koko: Hmmm it’s hard to pick one! What do the bros call you most? Cuz I just call you Asian >.<

Me: Well, we live in a society where you have the power of choice, so pick a nickname for me!

Koko: Asian. Haha (:P)

***(Next Morning)***

Me: Im rly sore 4m an intense cross training session but I want to do interval training. What do I do!?

Koko: Pop some L-glutamine. Take some pre-workout. And STOP BEING A BITCH

Me: I think you and my mom are the only women that I take orders from and that im scared of.

Koko: No need to be scared . . . you know this unicorn is a big softie

Me: (Tears up) I’m glad u respect and embrace my weakness. Please stop.

Koko: I’ll stop when you learn to get dinner on the table on time!!!

Me: Why are you so mean?

Koko: It’s because men have been oppressing us since the beginning of time! It’s time to fight back!

Me: I’m scared.

Koko: Oppression doesn’t feel goo does it?

***(Later on that night)***

Me: I’m at a punk-pop show and they’re so many tweens

Koko: Hands off! No roofies!!!

Me: WTF, how dare you accuse me of such behavior?!?

Koko: Haha well I’ve seen your EDM-harmony dating profile….

Me: Shut up, those are lies.

Koko: Haha

Me: Whatever, you’re leaving off to South Africa anyways

Koko: That just means we gotta make the most of my time left in America!

Me: Stop trying to get me to go to Hawaii

Koko: You know you want to

Me: Stop it, stop Jedi-ing me

Koko: Yup, I am a unicorn with Jedi mind powers