Month: December 2013
Wishing You a Merry Xmas and a Twerking New Year
It’s Christmas y’all!!!
I love Christmas, probably one of my favorite time of years: the lights, the ice skating, the festivities, and who can forget the crying babies in overcrowded malls!
This is my first attempt in making an e-Christmas card. I think I did it right . . . because I’m too poor to afford real Christmas cards and send them out.
Here’s a picture of me celebrating my Xmas festive spirit and another picture of me preparing for the ratchetness that is about to occur on New Years. Gotta practice some double-hand-ground-slapping-booty-shaking that’s gonna ring in the New Year.
This New Year I will be attending POP NYE and witnessing a THREE AND A HALF HOUR SET FROM NEW WORLD PUNX!!! NWP is a duo that is composed up Ferry Corsten and (of course my favorite DJ) Markus Schulz.
I cannot WAIT!!! Gonna definitely get my bro-y ratchet on.
I love Christmas.
Well have a good one, wishing you a merry Christmas from KokoandAirec, and reminding you to have a Twerking New Year,
P.S. Too bad I won’t be celebrating Christmas eating veggy pizza (and passing out to Love Actually with Koko, fucking love that British accented movie) and ringing in the New Year with my ginormous group- the Zipper Squad. But they will be with me in spirit.
P.S.S. I sometimes wish I was Mexican so I could have some tamales right now, all of the Christmas tamale pictures are flooding my Facebook news feed.
Hoes vs Pros: An Empowering Women’s Guide to EDC
Hoes vs Pros: An Empowering Women’s Guide to EDC
We’ve written about EDC many times in previous posts on our blog, mostly mocking the stereotypes that revolve around going to raves, and poking satirical fun. Well it’s a kicks and giggles until someone gets taken away on a stretcher. Now is the time to buckle down for some serious rave talk.
This year may be your first EDC ever, or maybe you’ve been around the massive block once or twice. Whatever your situation may be, there is always room for improvement in the massive game. Where to start? Well, there is a hell of a lot more to EDC than just attending the event. Here are some tid bits that may help…learned from friends and through personal experience.
Every day leading up to EDC has an impact on the whole experience
When you’re standing in the middle of a 300,000 people mosh pit…
holding hands with your best friends…
surrounded by the ones you love…
and you could cry over how beautiful it all is…
everything is so perfect…
That is what EDC is all about.
Lets make sure we prepare ourselves for it this magical moment.
Disclaimer: These tips are coming from a female perspective. Although some points are applicable to all genders, if you’re a guy you’ll want to check out my male-counterpart’s dude version: Bros vs Pros- A Male’s Guide To EDC 2014.
Getting Prepped For EDC
Diet & Exercise: You want to act as if preparing for a 3 day marathon. Meaning that you need to eat lean, train mean, and be ready for the most intense cardio you’ve ever experienced in your life. I won’t go into dieting details (I’m vegan so I doubt you’d follow my dietary recommendations), but to put it simply, EAT WELL IN THE WEEKS LEADING UP TO EDC. Don’t scarf down pizza and burgers every day then find yourself in the motor speedway huffing and puffing for dear life after only 5 minutes of fist-pumping. That being said, don’t starve yourself either. Your muscles need protein and some carb storage to fuel this 3 day carnival. Carbs are your friends.
ABS: Abs are made in the kitchen- not in the gym. NUFF SAID.
Pro Tip: Cardio – Do whatever cardio form that floats your boat. Aim for keeping that heart rate between 100-120 beats per minute without passing out.
Pro Tip – Spend significant time on a calf-raiser machine. You’ll thank me when you find yourself in the mosh pit of Kinetic Field, trapped shoulder to shoulder with glittery chicks and sweaty bros, no shuffling room, no elbow room; the only dance move you can attempt is a completely vertical up-and-down jumping motion, with an occasional fist pump thrown in. Your gastrocs need to be formally trained for this.
Supplies: Gum & chapstick: You are allowed to bring gum and chapstick into the motor speedway as long as they are sealed. So go to the store, buy 3 individually sealed packs of gum, and 3 individually sealed things of chapstick. Bring 1 to each day of EDC. If you’re the type of person that doesn’t usually chew gum or need chapstick when you’re feeling yourself – bring them anyway. Trade them for light shows, massages, or just give them out for free because you’re a nice person. DO IT. Vics nasal inhaler – you’re not allowed to bring these in, so you must sneak them in. I’ll let you figure out how to do that on your own.
Pro Tip: A small pack of tissues. As sucky as it is- you will find yourself in a port-o-potty that doesn’t have toilet paper. Also bring a small bottle of hand sany. Disclaimer: some security guards might not let you bring these 2 things in, while others won’t care. It’s a hit or miss, but it’s always worth a try!
Pro Tip: Bring a fanny pack/small backpack (must be smaller than 12 in x 12 in – Insomniac regulation). CanNOT be a plush material.
You do not have enough pockets or bra space for all the shit you will need for EDC. Trust me on this- you need something that straps to your body to hold all your shit. Phone, keys, 3-day pass card, chapstick, gum, kandi, any and all other random whit you will accrue throughout the course of the night. Don’t ask me how, but you will accumulate random shit…3D glasses, sunglasses, stuff you buy at the merchandise tent. Oh, and of course your Insomniac reusable aluminum water bottle.
Pro Tip: A watch- You don’t wanna dig through your bag and pull out your cell every time you wanna know what time it is. That will create too many opportunities for losing your phone, and also drain your battery. If you’re like the Zips and you have 8-12 DJs to see per night, it’s extremely helpful to have a wrist watch to keep track of the time and know when you need to move stages or when you have a meeting time with the rest of the crew.
Attire: OH boy, this is all individual. But some pro tips I have for attire would be:
1. Sunglasses. When the sky starts to lighten around the 5am hour, and dawn breaks over the motor speedway, you will really really really appreciate sunglasses to hide the mascara and glitter streaked around your dime-sized pupils. Cover that shit up. Keep sunglasses in whatever stuff-carrying-device you choose to strap to yourself.
2. Comfy shoes. Ladies, do NOT wear heels, slippers, or strappy sandals. Full-foot-covering tennis shoes are the way to go. Common choices also are TOMS,Vans and slip-ons like Ed Hardys. My advice is to go with something similar.
DON’T’S: Steer clear of anything you will constantly have to fumble with all night. Realistically, you will be in that motor speedway for at least 10-12 hours (if you go as hard as the Zipper Squad). The last person you wanna be is that girl who stops the whole group asking for help readjusting, re-tying, “help me I don’t know what to do because my wimpy bra strap just broke,” type of person. Anything you wear into that motor speedway is gonna come out dusty, dirty, covered in sweat, glitter, body paint, and tears. Accept this fact and you will have graduated to the level of Pro EDC outfit planner.
Don’t bring anything into the speedway that you aren’t prepared to lose, damage, or break. Shiz happens. Leave valuables at the hotel.
Pro Tips: Re-enforce all of your bra straps – meaning get a needle and thread and make sure you sew that shit solid, so there will be no wardrobe malfunctions in the middle of the night. Do this for everything and anything you think might be flimsy and easily breakable on your outfits. Tutus are the way to go. Life would be better all-around if we could just wear tutus all the damn time, but we can’t. So take advantage of this 3 day circus and wear a tutu every day. Tutus are simple, low-maintenance, and super effing cute.
Pro Tip: If you drove, take pictures of everything around your car: landmarks, light poles, scenery. This will help you find your car when its 6am and its time to leave. The last thing you want is to be roaming the dusty desert parking lot for 3 hours because you can’t find your car and don’t remember where you parked because you were too excited to pay attention the night before. (This has happened) -_-
Solidify The Night’s Schedule: Take a few minutes to run through your crew’s plan. What time you’re leaving, what sets to see/your set schedule, what time you’re leaving, group meet up times and group photos. If you roll with a large crew (50+), this planning time is absolutely necessary. Or even if it’s just you and a couple friends, communication is key to enhancing everyone’s EDC experience. Don’t just assume people know what’s going on.
Pro tip: Have a meeting time & place every few hours.
Example: meet at the drop-zone, OR THE ZIPPER, at 10pm, 12am, 2am and 4am. This way, if anyone is lost, or if you just wanna connect with other group members, you’ll always have a time and place to gather together.
Inside the speedway: Zipper Squad always meets at the Zipper.
So the magical moment has come. You begin your descent down the bleachers and are holding back the tears while looking out at the shimmery heaven that is the Las Vegas Motor Speedway. What do you do first? MERCH TENT for water bottles, potty break, then hit your first stage. Or if your crew doesn’t have a set you wanna see at that moment – pick a ride to go on! But first things, first. WATER. Hydrate the f**k up. Stand in that line, get your reusable Insomniac bottle, and worship that thing for the next 3 days. Hoes allow themselves to dehydrate. Or if they do choose to down some agua, they buy plastic bottles and trash the planet.
Pro Tip: reusable Insomniac bottle. DO IT. Plus it’s a super awesome souvenir to take back to reality. I still use mine erry damn day.
Before the magic set in and your eyes are too jittery on euphoric emotions to read the speedway map, mentally mark out where each of the restrooms are. Hint – there are four, one in each ‘corner’ of the speedway.
Pro Tip: When facing the stands, the restrooms in the corner on the left of the bleachers are the most well-lit, least-used, and therefore cleanest bathrooms.
Pro Tip: ALWAYS GO WITH YOUR GROUP. NEVER SOLO-MISSION TO THE BATHROOMS!!! Make your group go together all at once. Even if someone says they don’t need to go, remind them that it’s better to at least try now then to be in the middle of a rage-fest set and to have to dig out to find the bathrooms alone.
Pro Tip: Always kill 2 birds with 1 stone when it comes to water and bathrooms. You’re already out & about. Might as well make sure everyone is good on water & bathrooms in the same trip.
Pro Tip: Wanna boost your magical experience back up? Eat a fresh orange, and wash it down with some fresh-squeezed lemonade. You will not be disappointed. There are tents for fresh fruits and fresh lemonade. TAKE ADVANTAGE!!!
Keep from cramping!!! Buy some Powerade and alternate your water intake with Powerade intake.
Pro Tip: Don’t wanna pay $6 for a 16oz Powerade? Sneak in a Pedialyte electrolyte powder pack. It’s tiny- like the size of a stick of gum. Mix that shiz in your Insomniac bottle with some water. I personally prefer the Pedialyte route. But whichever you use, don’t be a hoe and think you only need water to survive. ELECTROLYTES SAVE LIVES.
Pro Tip: Designate a meeting place. Whoever you drove with or took the shuttle with: Have a meeting point for when the night is over. Hoes be like “I know we won’t separate so its fine”. Then you do separate, all of your cell phones die, or you don’t get reception. It’s 7am, you can’t find anybody. You don’t wanna go into the parking lot because what if they’re not out there? But security is kicking you out of the speedway. You don’t remember where the car is. Or you don’t know where the shuttle picks up. What do you do?? Take the leadership role early in the night and tell your friends what’s up. Say “Hey at 6am, we all meet at the Hug Life bear sign”.
Pro Tip: ALWAYS PREPARE FOR THE WORST!!!!
The Next Day
So It’s Time To Leave The Speedway: Refill your Insomniac bottle BEFORE you leave the speedway. You’ll want water for that 2 hour traffic jam getting out of the parking lot. ESPECIALLY if you’re shuttling it. If you drove, keep some water in your car for the drive home. Having water on hand is ALWAYS a good idea.
Pro Tip: the volunteers working the water refill stations abandon post usually before 5am. Get water before it’s too late. Make this a priority.
Supplements: You better bring whatever supplements you normally take at home, to Vegas. If you don’t normally take anything, well now is the time to start. It’s 8am. You have less than 12 hours to sleep, shower, and re-nourish your body before you’re back in the speedway again.
Pro Tip: bring a bottle of ibuprofen (your feet will hurt), a bottle of Rave Aid or 5-HTP (balance out your serotonin), and a bottle of potassium (reduce muscle cramps). Hoes will leave Vegas super dehydrated, nutrient-deficient, and sick with a fever. You just put your body through absolute hell. There is a right way to get it back to rage-face preparedness. Vitamin and water up.
Food After EDC: What to eat? Your body is going through a weird combination of still feeling magical so you’re not really hungry, but you need to feed your starving muscle children (broscience reference), all while you’re fighting that I’m-about-to-throw-up feeling. Stick with something simple.
Pro Tip: Have a bag of bagels and jar of peanut butter in your room, along with hella bananas. That way you can throw some nutrients into your stomach before noon, without having to leave the room. Take a shower, take a nap, and once you’ve digested some basic calories, you’ll be ready to brave the Las Vegas strip in search of a meal.
Pro Tip: Earl of Sandwich inside Planet Hollywood… perfectly sized hot, fresh sandwiches! They also sell a number of side pastas, fruits, and pastries. Plus, while part of your crew holds down your place in line, the rest of the crew can shoot over to Fat Tuesday (one Conveniently located in Planet Hollywood also!). You’re in Vegas: it’s never too early to start drinking! Not a day goes by where the ZipperSquad doesn’t snag some Earls and Fat Tuesdays!
Pro Tip: More sleep. Squeeze in another nap if possible. Even if only 30 mins to an hour. Mentally, you don’t think you need it. But physically, your body is DYING for a little more rest time. You don’t have to actually sleep if you really don’t want to. But fully lay down in bed and allow your legs to recuperate.
Pro Tip: Massage some lotion into your legs and feet. They need the extra TLC, moisture, and it will help with the soreness a lot.
I hope now you feel slightly more prepared to tackle the EDC beast. It’s a magical journey, you deserve to have the best possible experience.
Once you leave Vegas, the emotional after effects can be severe and it’s best to acknowledge the emotional roller coaster that you will feel in the days and weeks following EDC. For tips on dealing with PEDCSD (Post Electric Daisy Carnival Stress Disorder), see this blog.
A lot of these tips seem like simple no-brainers but, oh boy, do they make a world of difference in your experience.
I wouldn’t say I’m a master…there’s still so much to learn; through surviving countless massives, there are a lot of things I’ve fudged up. And through those mistakes- I learned the right ways to rave.
Don’t be a hoe raver; BE A PRO RAVER!
Asian Boyfriend No Welcome Here!!!
Everyone who’s friends with me on Facebook knows that I love to browse the internet for funny shit and that BuzzFeed is one of the blogs that I frequently “share” on Facebook. Earlier this week, I came across a BuzzFeed post about some vicious attacks on Lorde, 17 year old pop-singer from New Zealand, and her boyfriend, James Lowe.
According to BuzzFeed, the original “attack” came from rapper Tyler, the Creator. I put attack in quotation marks because I don’t know if it was intended as an attack (something which you can never really know because Tyler, the Creator, is fucking crazy).
Now, I’m not focusing on the non-feud between Lorde and Tyler, the main disgust I feel is from the Twitter attacks that followed.
Tyler, the Creator’s tweet sparked a clash of resistance against Lorde, primarily attacking her boyfriend of Asian descent.
The onslaught of Twitter attacks were brought on by One Direction and Justin Bieber fans. These tweens accused Lorde of calling their false demigods ugly.
In Lorde’s defense, she did not accuse One Direction or Justin Bieber of being ugly.
I’m not going to go into details about what these little girls and stupid boys were saying about Lorde and James, but some of their Tweets contain the words “Hoe” and “Chinese old fart.”
You can read it all here: http://www.BuzzFeed.com/ryanhatesthis/one-direction-fans-on-twitter-are-saying-insanely-racist-thi?bffb
Who knew that these little tweens can be so blood thirsty behind a keyboard?
Now, I’m not saying that I think One Direction and Justin Bieber sucks, but I don’t particularly like their music; however, I respect other people’s opinions that like it. This are just one Asian boy’s opinion.
But Justin Bieber, in particular, I don’t like personally; especially after his attack on Michael Woods manager in Korea earlier this year.
And if you like Justin Bieber and don’t like my opinion, you can either write a comment or, hell, get your own site and BLOG ABOUT IT!!!
Linda West, of Jezebel, stated to BuzzFeed, “Even the tweets that don’t specifically mention Lowe’s race, I suspect, are at least partially driven by our culture’s nasty stereotyping of Asian men as unsexy and sexless.”
Why is it that in America (and I say America because this is where I live and where I have experience dating shortcomings), Asian males are viewed as “unsexy” and emasculated when paired up against the standards of attractiveness?
Is our skin too yellow? Do our wide eyes scare you? Are we too smart and weird and nerdy and geeky to be attractive??
This type of “thought” makes it hard for Asian Americans to date outside of their race.
I know other races have their own “sexual identification:” black males being “big,” Hispanic males being exotic with a splash of Spanish spice, European males with their thick charming accents. But what is Asian American males’ identification? The ability to do your homework for you? The person to rely on to fix your broken iPhone screen?
Of course I know that not everyone is the same. I know that some girls don’t date Asian males not because they are racist; they are just simply not attracted to them. And I know some girls who do date -and in some cases only 🙂 – Asian males.
Here is a random funny video about Asians in a library:
This rant probably went off course about what I wanted to say, so let me just sum it up here: I hate how it’s so easy for people over the internet to attack an Asian male’s sexual identity when they’re in an interracial relationship!
I could probably go on further into this subject, I was once aspiring to become an Asian American Studies minor, but I will spare you an earful of preaching.
Another thing that was brought to my attention by my friend Lili is Lorde and her boyfriends’ age difference. Lorde is 17 and her boyfriend is 24 . . . (O.O)
Yes, I know that here in America their relationship is taboo. Better yet, illegal!!! But minute facts like that still didn’t stop me from trying to date a freshman when I was 18 in high school! Bro-five!
But the age of consent in New Zealand, where these two are from, is 16. And in their eyes (haha James Lowe’s eyes), and also by Mexican culture standards, 16 is the age of being a woman and thus being the legal age of consent.
Now, if I remember correctly, wasn’t pop-sensation Miley Cyrus getting d*** down by some 24 year old wrecking ball when she was like 17?
But what’s the difference? Is it just because Miley’s ex looks good in a tight t-shirt while Lorde’s boyfriend looks like your tutor in math class?
If we look at this through the eyes of Americans, then yeah, 24 to 16 is kinda gross.
However, if this is an American ethical standpoint we’re tackling, then let’s look at one of the great American actors, Morgan Freeman.
Not only did he date someone younger, but the woman that he left his wife for was his adopted granddaughter. E’Dena Hines is granddaughter of his first wife, Jeanette Adair Bradshaw. Freeman and E’Dena are not related by blood; the only connection they have is through his first wife, whom is E’Denas’ grandmother Bradshaw . . . (o.O)
Just something to point out in that link, E’Dena is trying to dispute that she and Freeman are related, but she called him “my grandfather” . . . that’s just a little gross. Just a little bit . . .
And yet no one talks about this (O.o)
Now, I’m not trying to justify a couple’s relationship age difference, I’m just trying to highlight the crude racist comments against Asians on the internet. I know I’m not a saint myself when it comes to race . . . but these people are just being mean!!!
So here we have it. In Lorde’s case, 16 is legal in New Zealand (and her boyfriend does kind of look like a Hipster Asian), but in Morgan Freeman’s case . . . let’s just say family reunions will never be the same.
-Hope y’all have a good one, Sype.
-PS, here I’ll leave you some screenshots that were the roots of this blog post! You can also see what my friends had to say on this matter!!!
Sharing The Knowledge
I ran my first (and possibly last) Honolulu Marathon yesterday.
I had no idea what I was in for. I’ve ran may races, everything from 5K to half marathon; but no amount of training could equip me to tackle this beast.
In order to prepare – I started asking around to find others who were running or had ran it before. I knew that a full 26.2 miles would be like nothing I had ever experienced.
I found a girl in 1 of my classes who would also be running, this is her 5th year! Here I was – a marathon virgin – and I had a 5 year veteran marathoner sitting next to me. I picked her brain, asking her everything about it. I wanted the insider tips- from preparation, to diet, to the actual race, and how to recover after.
There’s a right way to run a marathon, and a lot of wrong ways to do it. I felt armed and ready after all that she shared with me.
This experience mirrors the way I have found myself passing on EDC knowledge to future EDC headliners. I’ve had many friends ask me about my EDC experiences because they too want to go one day and want to be fully prepared.
EDC can be a truly amazing, or a not-so-positive, carnival depending on one’s interest in learning, preparing, and executing all the how-to’s for the best possible EDC experience.
Stay tuned for the ultimate how-to guide for surviving EDC …