Month: June 2015
A little Humor Before Gay Pride San Francisco
By Airec Sype.
As many knows by now, Trevor Noah will be replacing Jon Stewart on The Daily Show later this year on September 28th. Noah will be the 3rd person to succeed a host for the show and the fans were not too happy when they heard the announcement. You can read this Huffington Post article on what Stewart ha to say about Noah and why the fans were outraged, but I’m here to talk about the video of his standup that I shared.
Pride week is upon us in San Francisco, and this weekend is about to be crazy. I work in a “tourist” restaurant so I’ve been preparing for the chaos that is about to unfold: there will be drunk people in short shorts (mainly dudes rocking out with their c*cks out), out of towners coming into SF f*cking the city up, leaving a rainbow puke trail that’s composed from many and countless dance parties with music ranging from hip-hop to funky house.
Just to be clear, I don’t hate what Pride stands for, I just hate how the city is trashed with people who don’t respect the cause. For example, someone got shot two years ago at the parade party at Civic Center. That doesn’t seem too prideful to me . . . well thats a different kinda pride.
So to mentally prepare myself for this upcoming weekend, I like to have a few laughs. I saw this video today and had to share it to the world (of blogging). Noah recounts his journey in Zambia and tells us how it’s a crime to be gay. He paints a funny picture; especially the idea of a gay crime force taking down undercover gays (or G-Foroce or G-Unit for short).
Please don’t take any offense from it. He doesn’t mean no harm and neither do I. I played football so I’ve done a little towel whip or ass slap or c*ck sucking pantomimes. No homo. I kid, but I do have respect for those who have embraced themselves and chosen to come out of the closet; I’m straight and I don’t hate gay or lesbian people. Well I love lesbians . . . but that’s besides the point.
I wanna make a shout-out to two of my homosexual #Bros4Life, Bryan Chu and Lance Blair. Chu is an amazing gymnast and borderline ninja (also an amazing writer, but shhh don’t tell him that.) Blair, well, I hate that guy, his dark skin, pretty face, ripped abs. I hate/love (no homo ;p) him, but he is one awesome dude. Two of the coolest gay bros I know.
*That white guy isn’t one of the two.
If y’all do decide to take part of San Francisco Pride, please be safe and don’t trash the city. I know I’ll be out there in support of all my G-Bros out there. No hate y’all, equality for all!!! Yeah, I know that was lame. If you don’t know what to do for Pride and need some pointers, check out BuzzFeed list of 16 tips for a successful weekend.
Also, a bonus video since we’re talking about gay bros, here is a classic LifeAccordingToJimmy video called “Pinky Promise.” Gotta love that classic middle school question, “Does your dad know you’re gay?” Super funny. Bro.
Jimmy Tatro Shows Us “How To Have Sex On a Plane”
By Airec Sype.
YouTube bro-king, Jimmy Tatro, produced a “How To” video about having sex on a plane with Brittney Furlan on his LifeAccordingToJimmy page. Although I doubt that this would work in real life, especially now that this guide for all you bros and hoes out there is out for all GDIs to see. It does provide some useful tips just-in-case you wanna try having sex on a plane.
So if you feel ballsy enough, try it out. I know I wouldn’t try it. Not because I wouldn’t mind joining the “Mile High Club” but mainly because I’m a giant p*ssy. This isn’t attributed to my Asianness, it’s just because I’m scared of getting caught. Also the idea of having sex next to the shitter probably would make me wanna shit myself. Iono, I just have a bowel problem and I enjoy my time on the throne. Or at work I call it “my office.”
I’ll admit that I haven’t thoroughly enjoyed a Jimmy T video as much as this one. I will agree with other people, via Internet, that the old Jimmy is back.
Also, I don’t know who this Brittney Furlan is but it seems like the YouTubers in the comment section hates her. She’s hot enough to get my attention. Unless she’s like a racist or doesn’t date Asians then I don’t really have any reasons to trash her name.
Till next time, Sype.
Oh and GO PI KAPPS!!
8 Things We’re Going to Miss by NOT Going to EDC
By Koko and Sype.
The Electric Daisy Carnival will always and forever hold a special place in our hearts. We both have been to 7 EDCs, and hopefully more. So we say with deep regret that we will not be attending this year’s extravaganza. KokoKai won’t be able to attend because, of course, she’s in SOUTH AFRICA, and Sype will not be attending because he can’t stand the thought of an EDC without Koko there. (Airec here, Koko is a liar. I can live a future without her, I just choose not to.)
We will be back again in the future, but for now here are some things that we’re going to MISS about EDC this year.
1. Preparing for the trip/the road trip there.
I (Koko) recently had a dream about the Zipper Squad renting a giant yellow school bus for the road trip to Vegas and to EDC.
But for real, the journey into the desert is full of aspirations, hopes and dreams of a young adventurer into Wonderland. If you’re driving or flying into Vegas, you get the pre-festival jitters just visualizing the magic that awaits you at the Motor Speedway. Whether it be seeing random cars with EDC on the back of their windows, hanging with your close mates or passing a beer to a random fellow EDC attendee from a moving car, cherish this journey and make the best of it. With so much energy and enthusiasm, the trip into Vegas is like a mental pre-game for EDC.
2. Vegas and its nightlife!
Anyone in Vegas around the time of EDC knows that the entire city goes absolutely apesh*t. Even if you don’t actually go to EDC, just being in Vegas for EDC week is an event in itself. EDM celebs decorate the pool parties as festival-goers and regular people alike dance the day away while splashing around and spilling overpriced drinks into the pool water. Oops. This might be your only night to really do the ‘Vegas thing’ and go nuts. Spend that hard-earned cash that you’ve been saving up, buy that random hot girl a drink and eat at all the buffets. Once EDC starts, the chance of you doing all this stuff is slim. We won’t tell (;P)
3. Seeing all of our favorite DJ’s in one space.
Dat 2015 line up doe. :O I. Cant. Even. With. It. Like, it was really hard not to cry when I (Koko) saw the lineup for the first time. Most raves and festivals will have a few DJs you really want to see, but EDC is like the mecca of all festivals. Anyone who’s anyone will be playing at EDC. Not only do we have the pleasure of seeing our faves, but there’s always the discovery stage as well – a chance for up & coming artists to showcase what they’ve got to offer the EDM world. We get to see the famous people before they become famous.
4. The costumes.
The Zips thoroughly enjoy planning and creating custom, unique costumes for each day of EDC every year. Airec not so much because it intrudes on his masculinity. (Which is why he always has an awkward combined costume of bro and kandi kid.) Coordinating themes and characters then transforming them into outfits is something to look forward to, and is a platform for our creativity to come out to play. Not only will be miss our own dress-up time, but seeing everyone else’s costumes is something we will definitely miss. (Not just the hot rave booty.) People be wearin’ some crazy shiz, and no matter how outlandish, we appreciate EDC for providing a safe space to express diversity and creativity.
5. InstaGram ruins my life.
-For the days leading up to EDC, the 3 days of EDC, and at least 2 weeks after EDC, we’re just not going to look at InstaGram. Everyone and their moms are gonna be posting elegantly filtered photos and strategically edited videos all over social media about EDC. Not gonna lie, it’s gonna make us upset and a little jealous and angry that we’re not part of this year’s magic. If you’re going to EDC 2015, don’t expect us to like any of your IG posts. F*ck you.
6. The dancing.
Talk about an undercover cardio fest! EDC is like the triathlon; each of the 3 days is an athletic event. It’s a marathon and not a sprint. Well, you could try sprinting, but then you’re gonna be under a table an hour before EDC like Airec was in 2012. A Lady Zip decided to put on the step counter of her iPhone on for a day of EDC (for funsies) and it calculated over 20 miles of dancing and grooving :O Holy sweet Jesus, that’s a lot of steps for an “experience”. But sports talk aside, EDC creates a space where everyone can dance their little hearts out underneath the electric sky; you can move, shake, wiggle, fist pump and undulate in whatever ways your mood desires, no judgements here on your creative dance moves. (especially Airec’s awkward Asian dance moves in which looks like he’s spazzing out.) And the icing on the cake is that you’ll accidentally lose like 10 pounds in the process. Dance monkey dance!!!
7. The Magic in the Air
There is something to be said about EDCs atmosphere. Your head may be pounding and your body sore from the night before, but once someone yells out ‘EDC’ or just gives you the look of hope and passion for the night to come, your body will become possessed with this euphoric energy that will send chills down your spine and goosebumps on your skin. Mixed that with some fireworks and oh, the feels. These pyrotechnicians know exactly when and how to light off these glorious firework shows in such a way that they can cause 300,000 people to all stop what they’re doing and just stare up at the sky in complete awe of the beauty. The hangover that once was in your head will now be cured by the excitement Under the Electric Sky. It’s EDC, you can’t wuss out and let anything stop you from the adventure you’re about to embark on.
8. The friends and the memories!
The people whom you surround yourself with can make or break your experience. So make sure you surround yourself with the right people. For us it was the ZipperSquad that accompanied us through our magical ride. That doesn’t mean that we didn’t make the effort to meet other people, but it was the special group of people who helped us feel the warmth of EDC, transforming it from an EDM festival to a spiritual journey. Sure we raged, but we also frolicked around in what can be compared to Pan’s Neverland. Friendships will form and memories will be forged. Even now we still think of our time at EDC 2013, the best EDC so far (in our opinion). Cherish the time you have with one another because you never know when someone from your crew will randomly text you ‘Are we still meeting at the Zipper at midnight?’ to send tears down your cheeks.
Well there you have it. Make sure you be safe out there. It’s easy to forget about safety when you’re having fun . . . not trying to sound like the older sibling though. EDC is a magical experience, so enjoy it. Check out our other tips and write ups about EDC and festivals.
Bros v. Pros: The Mens Guide to EDC While Trying Not To Be a Douchebag
Here’s a little ThrowbackThursdays for yall
I know not really, but during festival season this becomes more and more true
By: Sype.
With only just a few days till the Electric Daisy Carnival in Las Vegas, I think it’s time for me to provide some BROs v. PROs tips from my six years of attendance (embarking on my 7th year down the rabbit hole this year). This will be a continuation of my partner, Koko’s, blog post, “Hoes vs Pros: An Empowering Women’s Guide to EDC 2014.” So make sure you check her post out as well, she has a bit more information for the ladies than I do.
Before I continue on with this long laundry list of BROs vs PROs do’s and don’ts, I would like to say a DISCLAIMER!: I am not an expert in any field, except for the field of disappointing my Asian parents (which is why I created the hashtag…
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Entourage Honest Trailer Adds to the Hype
By Airec Sype.
After waiting for about an eternity, Entourage (the movie) finally hits the big screen this weekend. I’m sure an eternity isn’t calculated by my own self-centered judgement of time, but for a little bro (such as myself) it feels like forever. Why am I super stoked on this movie? Well, it has everything: bros, girls, debauchery, more broing out and of course more girls. Seriously, it’s like lifestyle porn for bros.
Right before I saw the movie, I watched Screen Junkies “Honest Trailer” for the flick. And even though “trailer” had negative remarks, it hyped me up more than ever!
For those who don’t know, Entourage is about a close-knit group of friends that rises to stardom. The series is also loosely based on Mark Wahlburgs life and his own entourage. There’s a lot of booze, partying, sex, women, bros, breathtaking Hollywood lifestyle, more L.A. life porn, whatever. In simpler words: it’s one giant effin’ party.
I could say that this movie has much more to offer than bros being bros like friendship, loyalty, commitment, perseverance, yadda yadda yadda. But at the end of the day it is what it is. This movie is awesome, has a bunch of funny burns and jokes and contains that loveable cast that everyone grew up watching.
However, not everyone shares my passion and enthusiasm for this movie. Samantha Grossman wrote in her TIME article that “maybe if people see the misogyny and racism” in the honest trailer then “they’ll boycott it and stay home to read bell books instead.”
She’s not the only person to public share her distaste on the Entourage franchise. Just scrolling down the YouTube comments of the honest trailer you can see negative criticisms.
Like Jesus Mohammad as he states, “Seriously, one of the worst f*cking shows ever!” Right, tell us how you really feel. Supplanter Law even thanked Screen Junkies for saving him time and money from watching the show. One of the funniest comment I saw was when a YouTuber called another user a “Nerd” for complaining about the show.
I could probably provide examples of people who supports the show but I’m not going to because I don’t have to. This show is awesome and it’s FICTIONAL. Sure it glorifies the naughty things that boys do with money, but it’s just ENTERTAINMENT!!!
Entourage isn’t trying to branch out to a wider audience; if you’re gonna watch this movie then you probably already made up your mind. Boys and girls alike.
Nobody bashed this hard on Sex in the City as it told the tale of four women that went on a journey to banged an entire city in the name of feminism. And if your girlfriend (or whatever thang) made you go watch that movie or other movies like Twilight, then you have the right to drag her butt to this epic film!
It’s entertainment people, get over it. If you don’t like its content then don’t watch it and don’t judge other people for indulging in their naughty bro fantasies.
There’s a reason why this show has won awards and have been nominated for a few others. Like Best Writing for a comedy series by the Writers Guild of America three years in a row.
The critics on Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 29% rating. But who cares what they think right. Entourage is a movie for its fans. And the people have spoken. The audience gave the movies a mixture of stars but plenty of 4 stars were prominent. Fans call it “fun and hilarious” and “really really really good.”
Max H claims that “this a movie ABOUT assholes, MADE by assholes, to be WATCHED by assholes.” That is true my keyboard warrior. But he also enjoyed the movie as he claims that he “was (also) one of those assholes.”
The storyline in this movie is simple and nothing carefully layered like The Hurt Locker or The Notebook. This movie is one of guilty pleasures and ego stroking. Just have fun. This is a crazy ride that hits close to home because we all have a Vinny, Drama, Eric, Turtle, and that one loud mouth asshole that we all hate but love, Ari Gold, in our entourage. Watching this movie is just like the night before Thanksgivings in your hometown, reunited with old friends for another rager.
Here’s to broing out and bulling your way to the top, Sype.
Inside the Dark Minds of Koko and Airec 