A (JADED) RAVER RETURN TO EDC
Read about my return to EDC
(Original post was on iHeartRaves)
After taking a year off, I attended my 8th Electric Daisy Carnival. Which also happened to be the 20th Anniversary of the iconic festival hosted by Insomniac Events. I, like many seasoned ravers, have uttered the phrase: “This is going to be my last EDC”. And like the many, we have failed multiple of times to live that statement through.
Many things have inspired my return to my favorite festival: My travel partner returning home from her duty in the Peace Corps, the 20th birthday of EDC and my crews itching to return to Vegas and rage. These are just a few reasons, but do you really need a reason to go back to E. D. Mother Effin’ C!
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Dear Andrew, My Friend Who Was Taken From Us Too Soon
Something I wrote for my friend who was taken from this world too soon. RIP Andrew Chu
(Note: This is not a comedy piece. My friend Andrew, who was a genuine great person, was taken away from us too soon. He did not drink, do drugs, or have a hateful cell in his body. It’s a shame what happened. An accident. So be safe out there folks, and cherish the people around you. You never know what will happen. This is an open letter to the man who made me want to not only become a better Asian, but a better person of the world. I’m a man who does not know how to really handle feelings and writing is the only way I know how. Every time I try to talk to someone about Andrew, I can’t help but to fight off tears and sorrow. So I don’t speak at all. Instead, I write.)
I really don’t know how to start this, but I’m…
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Merry Christmas from Koko and Airec and Deadpool
I forgot to re-blog this from Xmas. Opps. Typical Airecisms
By Airec Sype.
Howdy y’all. It’s been some time since we both have posted on our blog but here we are today. We both have been working on various different projects and still have been writing on different platforms. So it’s sad that we have been neglecting our baby. I (Sype.) am posting on this site because my credit card that was funding the payment for A Dark Minded Giggle expired and it was gonna cost me about 100 bucks to buy back the domain name . . . yeah, f*ck that. So I’m using this.
Let me start off with MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Whereas most families are spending their Xmas together, my dysfunctional but functional Asian family is spending it not together (I’m sure there is a better word for that). Any who, I’m sure we will all be together right before I leave.
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Puns in Ikea . . . Yeah, Puns Are Still Funny
By Airec Sype.
Simon Gilmore released this about video of him shopping, or rather his girlfriend shopping and he annoying, her at an IKEA. In the two-minute video, the Australian relentlessly throws puns after puns at Dona. Got to hand it to him, his quick wit is something to admire as he unleashes ’em one after another. Some may say that these puns on the Swedish labeling of items are painful and that he should stop, but then there people like me who enjoys the play on words and loved every minute of the video!
Puns are amazing, they have been around since the dawn of comedy. Sure puns are easy to make, but my God, that one good pun can knock you on your little punny! No, I don’t think that works but you get what I mean. There is just an art form to the comedy of a painfully bad, but yet good, pun.
Here, have CollegeHumor explain it to you!
Well anyways, I can understand this mans pain(s). I’ve been shopping with girls before and it kinda sucks; there’s too much time looking at stuff and thinking about maybe buying the stuff. So him making a day out of it seems like the right way to spend his time walking around IKEA. At first Dona doesn’t seem to enjoy it, but she eventually comes around.
If you want a play-by-play of how it all went down, check out The Australian coverage of it. Actually from reading their piece, we learn that Gilmore is a part-time comedy writer. Well, who would have thought.
Check out the video and have a few laughs, I know I did.
Till next time, Sype.
Bernie Sanders Tour: Just In Time For Festival Season!!!
By Airec Sype.
It’s that time of year again where everyone’s posting Facebook or Twitter political updates, telling everyone that they care for more than just funny memes or cat pictures. I’m not here to push some kind of political agenda upon y’all, I’m just here to post funny videos and links.
Funny Or Die just released a video projecting Bernie Sanders campaign as a music concert tour titled “Bernie Sanders Summer Tour.” It’s pretty funny. The two comedians asks the people in attendance for their “favorite hits,” referring to Sanders stance and political platform (like free education and higher taxes on the wealthy). Some of the attendees are in on the jokes and some look lost with the festival fever trope.
Remember that I’m not here to push some kind of political candidate on you, just to make you laugh. If I did however had some kind of stance on Sanders, then I would probably post a video like that below for you to see. That’s how you would know if I had a stance on this whole Democrat primary election.
Till next time and vote intelligently, Sype.
Old People Things: Part 2
By: Koko and Airec
Welp, here we are again to tell the world that we’re getting older! During one of our frequent conversations about our aging bodies and our concerns of today’s youth, we realize again that time is still not on our side. So as we grow older (and hopefully wiser) we start to notice all the things we do differently, and the changes in the ways we view and navigate the world. This lead us to some realizations (again) that makes us a little more our age and young adult-ish.
So here is our continuation of Old People Things. We present to you, the long-awaited, part 2!
1. If 2 or more things must be remembered- you have to start a list
2. Personal property insurance
3. Planning what your children’s names will be
4. Having several bank accounts, all for different purposes
5. Your body has its own bedtime
6. A cup of coffee is a morning ritual
7. A ‘crazy Friday night’ means a bottle of wine and The Bachelorette (Airec is animes and sitcoms)
8. It takes 2 days to recover from 1 night of drinking
9. You wish you could still dial POPCORN to find out the accurate time so you can properly adjust your wrist watch
10. You wear a wrist watch
11. You’re old enough to know what POPCORN was
12. You always have Pedialyte in your fridge- ready and waiting
13. Thinking of how inappropriate a girl’s clubbing/festival attire is
14. Standing around awkwardly at an 18+ Club
15. Having Icy-Hot within arm distant
16. Thinking of names for your future pet and what kind
17. Tipping correctly
18. TUMS. So many TUMS.
19. Choosing to get a hotdog before heading home to cook over partying with a bunch of 21 year olds on a Thursday night
There it is, 19 ways we are older now. We both have felt the cruel wrath of time as our own bodies continues to break down. It doesn’t feel like it now, but you will get old someday; it’s just a sad fact of life. We’re sure that soon we’re gonna have another list of how we are entering adulthood. So watch out for that. There’s no denying that our party side is now slowing down and our ideas of fun are shifting. We just accept the fact that we’re old people now, but hey(!), we’re still cool!
Till next time, Koko and Airec.
Finger Blasting: It’s Such An American Term
By Airec Sype.
(NSFW Content Ahead)
Finger Blasting (verb) – The act of inserting one’s finger(s) repeatedly, with vigorous force, into another person or their vagina or anus.
“Bob is a little pissed that I finger blasted his ex-girlfriend last night at the movies.”
Now that we got the technical terms out-of-the-way, let’s talk about finger blasting. For those who are not used to vulgar and crude humor (or were not in the Greek system in college), the term ‘finger blasting’ may be a foreign or familiar concept. This is not the case for me; every time I say it, I cannot help but giggle at the sheer silliness of the 14 letters that compose such an act.
My friend Heaven (yes that’s her real name and not her stage name) did not believe me that this word -this word that made her cringed at a bar during Taco Tuesday- was valid. She believed my fraternity and I made it up, until I showed her proof. I don’t know if the idea or culture of ‘finger blasting’ came from the ancient Greeks themselves or from the early frat houses of young America, but it’s currently sweeping the Nation with giggles and disgust! Here is the ever so reliable Urban Dictionary providing the evidence of finger blasting!
Now the reason why I’m so juiced up on this rediscovered word is because I realized how American the term ‘finger blasting’ is. This realization came when I was trading hook-up terminology with my Irish friends who are here on their J1 visas. They shared with me the term ‘shifting.’ Which means to ‘make out with,’ or ‘French kissing.’ So then I traded them the marvelous F.B.!!!
I’m sure this wasn’t the first time these pale kids with cute accents have heard of ‘finger blasting,’ but I’m sure this is the first real time that they had to really think about it. As their cognitive brains slowly processed the term and stored it in their memory banks, their faces showed their reaction: the girls cringed to its imagery of their own flowers getting blasted, while the guys giggled as they pictured a rapid penetration of someone they yearn for by their own hand-gun.
The reason why I believe ‘finger blasting’ is such an American word is because of the aggressiveness of the implied action. When you look at the terms ‘shifting’ or ‘French kissing,’ they just seems so elegant, peaceful, and so European. Now when you say ‘finger blasting,’ it’s so American to take charge and impose one’s will. You’re not simply fingering but you’re also blasting! An act of passion that holds a key to open the door to sex has now become a barrage of angry SWAT members knocking down lush (and hopefully shaven) pink doors, guns a-blazing!
If you need another reason to giggle at the marvelous term ‘finger blasting,’ check out Amy Schumer’s skit that is posted above. I’m sure it’s going to shock you (;P) I don’t even want to ruin the video for you by describing it. So. Funny!!! Now, if you even need more proof how Americans have owned up to the term ‘finger blasting,’ Thought Catalog has compiled “Top 5 On-Screen Fingerblangs” by Kat George in popular American media. You’ll probably see some familiar faces there!
Also, if all this talk about finger blasting gets you in the mood to call over a Tinder date, then make sure you do it right. Kat George, here she is again, has an another F.B. article on Vice about common finger blasting mistakes. It holds tips such as- clip your finger nails and make sure you don’t blast your way past the clit. A good read for you rookie blasters out there who just got your gun licenses.
Welp, I hope you all get the idea of finger blasting. This post isn’t to promote people to blast away at in a dark night club, or in a dim movie theater; this post is to poke fun at the word and giggle inappropriately. I’m not a ‘finger blasting’ advocate trying to make the term into Websters. (Those fraternity days are behind me!) I just think F.B. is a funny word. If you do decide to partake, make sure you finger blast intelligently; you don’t know when you’re going to accidentally hurt someone or get kicked out of a Carnage pool party in Vegas for ‘finger blasting’ some random chick in the pool during EDC week. Those guns are meant to be used responsibly and behind closed doors!
Dance downstairs safely, Master Blasters.
USA Challenges Japan in a Robot Fight
By Airec Sype.
MegaBot, Inc. challenged Suidobashi Heavy Industries yesterday to a battle of robots! HOLY CRAP!!! If you watch the video provided by MegaBot’s YouTube page, then you will know that these mechs can do some damage.
You don’t understand how much this tickles my nerdy side. The little Asian boy inside my big boy body is just giggling with excitement. Do you know how many hours of anime I have watched?!?! Something like this becoming tangible is just mind-blowing.
This is great timing too since 4th of July is around the coroner. What’s more American than challenging another country to WAR??!!!
!!!USA USA USA USA USA USA!!!
Of course you gotta love the YouTube comments under the video. In one funny but unnessary exchange:
SmarterEveryDay: “Why can’t I stop giggling? I am way more excited about this than I should be.”
theblazer: “Cause you’re a f*cking q*eer who’s never got laid.”
Geeze, way to step on our fun bro. If you’re watching this video then you must also be excited to watch two giant mechs, that took a team of scientists to build, battle it out with crazy weapons! How is that not excited?!?! And how does that make us nerds gay? Someone’s a lil in the closet.
Another exchange that included at little bit of history:
NinjaCharlieT: “Challenging Japan to a robot battle is not a smart thing to do.. but then again, it’s ‘murica!”
Futurefighter49: “We’ve taken japan before! How hard could it be to do it again?”
It could be too soon for that joke, but hot damn it was cringingly funny.
Well, I hope this really does happen. I will join the mass of oversized man-childs waiting for that epic moment in Gundam history . . . I mean robot battles. Getting a little toooooo ahead of myself here.
A little Humor Before Gay Pride San Francisco
By Airec Sype.
As many knows by now, Trevor Noah will be replacing Jon Stewart on The Daily Show later this year on September 28th. Noah will be the 3rd person to succeed a host for the show and the fans were not too happy when they heard the announcement. You can read this Huffington Post article on what Stewart ha to say about Noah and why the fans were outraged, but I’m here to talk about the video of his standup that I shared.
Pride week is upon us in San Francisco, and this weekend is about to be crazy. I work in a “tourist” restaurant so I’ve been preparing for the chaos that is about to unfold: there will be drunk people in short shorts (mainly dudes rocking out with their c*cks out), out of towners coming into SF f*cking the city up, leaving a rainbow puke trail that’s composed from many and countless dance parties with music ranging from hip-hop to funky house.
Just to be clear, I don’t hate what Pride stands for, I just hate how the city is trashed with people who don’t respect the cause. For example, someone got shot two years ago at the parade party at Civic Center. That doesn’t seem too prideful to me . . . well thats a different kinda pride.
So to mentally prepare myself for this upcoming weekend, I like to have a few laughs. I saw this video today and had to share it to the world (of blogging). Noah recounts his journey in Zambia and tells us how it’s a crime to be gay. He paints a funny picture; especially the idea of a gay crime force taking down undercover gays (or G-Foroce or G-Unit for short).
Please don’t take any offense from it. He doesn’t mean no harm and neither do I. I played football so I’ve done a little towel whip or ass slap or c*ck sucking pantomimes. No homo. I kid, but I do have respect for those who have embraced themselves and chosen to come out of the closet; I’m straight and I don’t hate gay or lesbian people. Well I love lesbians . . . but that’s besides the point.
I wanna make a shout-out to two of my homosexual #Bros4Life, Bryan Chu and Lance Blair. Chu is an amazing gymnast and borderline ninja (also an amazing writer, but shhh don’t tell him that.) Blair, well, I hate that guy, his dark skin, pretty face, ripped abs. I hate/love (no homo ;p) him, but he is one awesome dude. Two of the coolest gay bros I know.
*That white guy isn’t one of the two.
If y’all do decide to take part of San Francisco Pride, please be safe and don’t trash the city. I know I’ll be out there in support of all my G-Bros out there. No hate y’all, equality for all!!! Yeah, I know that was lame. If you don’t know what to do for Pride and need some pointers, check out BuzzFeed list of 16 tips for a successful weekend.
Also, a bonus video since we’re talking about gay bros, here is a classic LifeAccordingToJimmy video called “Pinky Promise.” Gotta love that classic middle school question, “Does your dad know you’re gay?” Super funny. Bro.