asian
Merry Christmas from Koko and Airec and Deadpool
I forgot to re-blog this from Xmas. Opps. Typical Airecisms
By Airec Sype.
Howdy y’all. It’s been some time since we both have posted on our blog but here we are today. We both have been working on various different projects and still have been writing on different platforms. So it’s sad that we have been neglecting our baby. I (Sype.) am posting on this site because my credit card that was funding the payment for A Dark Minded Giggle expired and it was gonna cost me about 100 bucks to buy back the domain name . . . yeah, f*ck that. So I’m using this.
Let me start off with MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Whereas most families are spending their Xmas together, my dysfunctional but functional Asian family is spending it not together (I’m sure there is a better word for that). Any who, I’m sure we will all be together right before I leave.
Some khao poon and sticky rice with chicken…
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USA Challenges Japan in a Robot Fight
By Airec Sype.
MegaBot, Inc. challenged Suidobashi Heavy Industries yesterday to a battle of robots! HOLY CRAP!!! If you watch the video provided by MegaBot’s YouTube page, then you will know that these mechs can do some damage.
You don’t understand how much this tickles my nerdy side. The little Asian boy inside my big boy body is just giggling with excitement. Do you know how many hours of anime I have watched?!?! Something like this becoming tangible is just mind-blowing.
This is great timing too since 4th of July is around the coroner. What’s more American than challenging another country to WAR??!!!
!!!USA USA USA USA USA USA!!!
Of course you gotta love the YouTube comments under the video. In one funny but unnessary exchange:
SmarterEveryDay: “Why can’t I stop giggling? I am way more excited about this than I should be.”
theblazer: “Cause you’re a f*cking q*eer who’s never got laid.”
Geeze, way to step on our fun bro. If you’re watching this video then you must also be excited to watch two giant mechs, that took a team of scientists to build, battle it out with crazy weapons! How is that not excited?!?! And how does that make us nerds gay? Someone’s a lil in the closet.
Another exchange that included at little bit of history:
NinjaCharlieT: “Challenging Japan to a robot battle is not a smart thing to do.. but then again, it’s ‘murica!”
Futurefighter49: “We’ve taken japan before! How hard could it be to do it again?”
It could be too soon for that joke, but hot damn it was cringingly funny.
Well, I hope this really does happen. I will join the mass of oversized man-childs waiting for that epic moment in Gundam history . . . I mean robot battles. Getting a little toooooo ahead of myself here.
Jimmy Tatro Shows Us “How To Have Sex On a Plane”
By Airec Sype.
YouTube bro-king, Jimmy Tatro, produced a “How To” video about having sex on a plane with Brittney Furlan on his LifeAccordingToJimmy page. Although I doubt that this would work in real life, especially now that this guide for all you bros and hoes out there is out for all GDIs to see. It does provide some useful tips just-in-case you wanna try having sex on a plane.
So if you feel ballsy enough, try it out. I know I wouldn’t try it. Not because I wouldn’t mind joining the “Mile High Club” but mainly because I’m a giant p*ssy. This isn’t attributed to my Asianness, it’s just because I’m scared of getting caught. Also the idea of having sex next to the shitter probably would make me wanna shit myself. Iono, I just have a bowel problem and I enjoy my time on the throne. Or at work I call it “my office.”
I’ll admit that I haven’t thoroughly enjoyed a Jimmy T video as much as this one. I will agree with other people, via Internet, that the old Jimmy is back.
Also, I don’t know who this Brittney Furlan is but it seems like the YouTubers in the comment section hates her. She’s hot enough to get my attention. Unless she’s like a racist or doesn’t date Asians then I don’t really have any reasons to trash her name.
Till next time, Sype.
Oh and GO PI KAPPS!!
EPIC HALO vs CALL OF DUTY!!!
By Airec Sype.
RackaRacka released an epic video of Call of Duty players battling Master Chief on YouTube earlier this week. This video contains it all: pestering grandmas, nerdy man-child(s), Elite energy swords and yes, even the non-stop barrage of C.O.D. zombies. Well instead of Nazi zombies, we have a bunch of old people . . . so kinda like zombies.
I came across this video while at work and I instantly knew that I had to sneak away in the bathroom to watch it. One of my managers walked in half-ways through and I didn’t care because I had a smile that stretched across my face, as wide as my eyes because this video is that got dang awesome.
This short has it all, all the weapons and mods and care packages that every F.P.S. (First Person Shooters for you non-virgins-before-19 out there) nerd can want in a live-action video. Although the ending of the video doesn’t really answer the age-long question about “Which FPS shooter is better, Halo or Call of Duty?” You can still leave satisfied as you watch these fans duke it out in attempt to please the inner-nerd in all of us.
THEY EVEN GOT THE HALO T-BAG!!!
For anyone who no longer has the time for video games, RackaRacka will remind you of that childhood that was not too long ago. I can’t help but think of microwavable foods, stale cherry pies that cost a dollar from Food4Less, the stench of man-boys who haven’t showered in days because of the relentless video game playing. (Well, this went on until high school because I eventually started playing sports and had to hide my nerdy Asian side from all the cute white girls . . . go ahead and ask me about Dance Dance Revolution.) Oh yeah, this definitely touched that little Asian boy inside of me . . . in a non-sexual way.
Be sure to check out other RackaRacka videos on their YouTube page. They got some good ones on there for your other nerdy pleasures.
Till next time and keep playing video games, growing up is a trap!!!
Happy Not So Happy Mother’s Day!!!
by Airec Sype.
It’s Mother’s Day! Or it was Mother’s Day. I surprisingly found out a bunch of random and dark information off of National Geographic article by Brian Handwerk while researching how to correctly spell M-Day.
Also, a fun fact, this year marks the 101st birthday for this Hallmark holiday.
If you read Handwerk’s article then you will find out that this holiday is much more than afternoon brunch in the Marina, over-priced flowers and posting an Instagram picture of you and yo momma.
The roots of M-Day started in the 1850s when Ann Reeves Jarvis organized a Mother’s Day festival . . . I mean workshop (LOL MILF Festivals) . . . to “improve sanitary conditions and try to lower infant mortality by fighting disease and curbing milk contamination.” This army of mothers also tended to the wounded from both sides of the U.S. Civil War.
After Jarvis’s death, her daughter Ann Jarvis (same name) created Mother’s Day in 1908 to honor her deceased mother. The reason why Jarvis decided the name should be “Mother’s Day” instead of “Mothers’ Day” is because today is the day to celebrate “the best mother you’ve ever known,” this day is not to celebrate all mothers. Let’s face it, some moms can be b*tches.
The sad part about the Jarvis story is that she spent most of her life trying to fight the commercialism of Mother’s Day. Her intimate day to love her mother was rapidly stolen from her. The American capitalists saw that there was money to be made and transformed M-Day into what we now as overpriced flowers and a cheap reason to bring your mom to a bar for a free shot. Well not my mom- she’s Asian so she doesn’t drink. Alcoholism only runs in the boy’s side of my family (;P)
With Americans spending about $19.9 billion a year on M-Day and reports saying that M-Day is the most popular day for dinning out, it makes me a little sad that Jarvis made no money from this. She was obviously not successful in her battle against the evils of the mainstream and commercialism.
Instead of capitalizing on the financial success of her holiday, she took the high road and did not give in to greed. She never had children of her own so it’s tragic to see her one creation taken from her and reshaped into something she hated in front of her very eyes.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed Mother’s Day. I almost forgot to call my mom yesterday. She would have been a sad panda . . . I’m a bad Asian. So next year remember it’s about showing your mother how much you love her, and not about expensive gifts. However, if your mom does expect an expensive gift then she doesn’t love you and is only using you so you need to break up with her and get a new mom who will love you unconditionally.
Keep up the good work moms of the world. And you bad moms out there, tisk tisk.
Till next time, Sype.
Lessons from my 26th Birthday
By Airec Sype
It was my 26th birthday about two weekends ago; my brain, body and, especially, liver felt the wrath of the catastrophe. Lil naughty Asian boy I was. Pretty sure I drank enough alcohol to kill a baby elephant. Probably, but I’m not a doctor (#sorryasianparents).
So after the mess Pineapple Express caused in the Bay Area, another shitshow (my birthday) also caused reckless damages in San Francisco. Luckily, I survived both storms and have learned some valuable things from the event. Well not from Pineapple Express, but from turning 26 (yeah I know I’m an old man).
I know that some of this will not apply to everyone. Not to boast about myself, but I do have a lot of friends. And some of my friends are assholes, but they are my assholes. They may be cruel at times, but they’re cruel with good intentions . . . to f*ck you up on your birthday.
- You’re friends will try and kill you with alcohol.
The beginning of the night started off with a reluctant whiskey pre-game. Which then turned into a full fledged pre-game with about 15 people crammed into my room, all trying to shove alcohol in my face. Not to mention that once I got to the bar everyone was trying to buy me drinks. So for those who are new to the “of age” birthday game, DO NOT PRE-GAME FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!!! The main point of a pregame is because you’re either a poor bastard or because you’re cheap and/or Asian like me. But when it’s your birthday, everyone will buy you shots and beers and any random poison: a privilege that is normally reserved for cute girls. I learned this lesson first hand on my 21st: my buddy bought me a 4 horsemen and I puked my brains out! THREE TIMES! They say friends care, but best friends want to see you burn!
- You will get drunk, trust me.
Like I said, don’t pre-game. You’re going to get drunk if you go out to a bar where about 30 or more people are there to celebrate the day of your birth. So if you don’t want to get drunk then grow some balls and reject those free shots or just keep it casual and simple. I didn’t last to midnight.
- Your house will get destroyed if you don’t manage to leave your house.
I unintentionally hosted a pre-game and post-party and a sloppy brunch. So if you don’t want your house in shambles and spend your actual birth day cleaning with your roommate pissed off at you, then I would recommend that you raise your voice like Hilary Duff and tell everyone to get the hell out! Drunk friends equals a wrecked house. It’s simple math.
- People will show up and some people won’t, it’s life.
In my case, a lot of people showed up. So make sure the venue you chose can fit and accommodate everyone! The only problem with this is that because of the vast amount of people, I did not get a lot of quality time with everyone. So if you’re the kind of person who likes to have hearts to hearts with your friends, then don’t invite more than 15 people. While some people show and some don’t, you can’t be upset at them. Life is bigger (brace yourself) than your birthday. We’re all adults now so understand that as adults we all have things to do.
- Nothing ever really goes as planned.
You can plan and plan, but nothing ever goes to script when you’re planning on gathering a group of drunk people. Also if you’re the birthday boy, nothing will ever go as planned if YOU’RE DRUNK. Simple, don’t plan stuff if you’re planning on being drunk. Never works out, trust me.
- You will be disappointed. So it’s ok to get mad and break shit. It’s your birthday!
Sure we’re all adults and sure we all have our own logical reasoning. But we can’t help but feel angry and betrayed if a friend doesn’t show up or if you miss your birthday brunch because of your drunk-ass friends, or if your house is filled with drunk loveable idiots destroying shit. So get mad, get angry, break some bottles or push a friend over a bush. It’s your birthday, you do what you want!!!
- No matter how old you are, there will be drama.
When you gather a group of 20 or more drunk people together, there will be drama. No matter how hard you try avoiding it, drama always follow drunk people. You can hope to not be involved and gather some popcorn to watch the drama occur around you. Or do the simple mature thing by cutting the drama out of your life. But if you have an uneventful life like mine, the drama adds a little spice.
- Try to embrace the chaos.
Like I said, things don’t go as planned or you will get angry. CHAOS WILL HAPPEN! So try to embrace it and enjoy the ride. It’s much easier to enjoy the destruction while being under the influences of alcohol. So before the sun rises and your hangover kicks in, enjoy it. It’s your birthday, have some fun!
- Learn from your mid-20s because you’re quickly about to hit your late 20’s.
Right before I hit 25, I was going on vacations, attending frat parties, going to music festivals and just living life. Then after graduation and my 26th birthday, I quickly learned that sometimes you’re toooooo old for shit. Sure I still like a good rager. But as I got older, my focus started shifting onto different things. I started, what’s that word? Maturing! Slowly tho. It’s just life, you can’t live in Neverland pho eva. Have fun now, make some mistakes and, oh, have some fun. Your late 20s will be the time of growth and maturity, so be prepared because life is a bitch.
- Birthdays SUCKS!!!
I hate birthdays; too much pressure in my case from family and friends. I’m going to be honest, I always felt like birthdays are for other people. I do enjoy the times and making memories that I won’t remember, but birthday celebrations sometimes suck. Gotta enjoy your alone time. #FullEmo
With that all being said, I did enjoy my (not so mature) birthday, with its ups and downs. These are just the lessons I learned from this particular b-day. I love all my friends and their impact on my life. It’s sad to remissness on how some friends whom I’ve became close with came and went, but hey that’s life. You can’t dwell on past memories, just got to move on and cherish the time you have now.
26 is going to be an interesting year pho me. Those student loans are going to catch up and I’m getting more wedding invitations as the day passes. So here’s to life. Wish me luck on my 26th. I’m going to need it.
-Till next time, Sype.
Exploring Microaggression: What the hell is Microaggression?
ever wanted to say something but didn’t because it might be a little offensive? well there is now a way to do that with the help of MICROAGGRESSION!!! Check out what that word means by reading my latest post on Sorry Asian Parents.
Laters.
By Airec Sype
The internet has always been a hub of good ideas: if you’re into stuff like DIY’s or trying to find a non-trendy-but-trendy-hipster place to brunch, or trying to gather up magical tips to help you lose your virginity for the first time. (Porn isn’t a reliable source for educational virgin tips for getting women or losing your virginity btw. Not everyone is lucky enough to just stumble into a threesome). But if you troll the internet a lot, like I do, you will notice that it is a Wild West of ideas with raw-uncensored thoughts. Which, of course, without filtration, the internet is saturated with a lot of racist (but sometimes hilarious) comments.
Instead of me calling it “internet racism,” lets ground this phenomenon in the scholarly world. First coined by Harvard professor Chester M. Pierce in 1970, psychiatrists have described these light “insults and dismissals” as
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A Very Asian Christmas: A brief history about Christmas and Asians
On the first day of the new year, I decided to post share a little knowledge I found concerning Asians and Christmas with a little Sype commentary. check it out and tell me what cha think!
By Airec Sype
not trying to break Santas lap
As I reminisce about my Christmas vacation, the overpowering memory of me sitting in my parents living room watching my six year old baby brother play Call of Duty on the PS3 underneath the 62’’ TV, as my eleven year old baby sister watched Ugly Betty on the iPad by the decorated artificial Christmas tree with wrapped presents underneath, this makes me wonder . . . where the fuck was my Christmas when I was 10 years old?
Growing up in the Central Valley, a predominantly White Christian Conservative area, the concept of Asian culture was foreign to kids of other ethnic culture in grade school. So a question I was often asked was, “Do Asians celebrate Christmas?”
Yes. Yes Asians do celebrate Christmas, you racist!
LOL, well let me elaborate on that. Yes and no, and well kind of.
For…
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#SorryAsianParents: A documentation of my failure and success as an “Asian-American”
Hi this is Airec here. So of y’all might know that I’m Asian, no shocker there. So I decided to have a new writing project call SorryAsianParents. It should be funny, wacky and super random so check it out.
I just found this hat and I really love In-N-Out
By Airec Sype
I am Asian-American.
What does that mean exactly? Shit, I don’t really know.
I guess if you break AA down to its two root words, my ethnicity is composed of Asian and American. (Also being American can mean a bunch of different things, in this sense I’m talking about mainstream “white-America,” I guess. But I’m not trying to be racist here, or at least not too racist).
So I’m Asian-American. Parents were born in Asia, I was born in America; I have spiky hair and sharp eyes, but I don’t have an Asian accent . . . most of the time, sometimes it just slips out, just the tip (;P). All of these things that compose me are borrowed cultural stereotypes and figures that mix the two worlds into my own.
Even though two different cultures are…
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#FirstWorldProblems: Africa Assumptions by an Asian in America
By KokoKai and Sype
Everyone has heard of #FirstWorldProblems, a hash tag that people in privileged nations use to complain about their . . . well, first world problems. But after watching a video (you can see down below) titled “First World Problems read by Third World People” by Water is Life, you start to feel like maybe using that hash tag is a little over the top.
So I, Sype, decided to ask my own ignorant American questions to my partner who is currently serving in the Peace Corps in South Africa. I tried to think of the most hyperbolic questions possible without seaming too racist (and stupid).
-And I, KokoKai, am happy to answer his questions because these are things that I even wondered about before moving my ass over to this side of the globe.
I cannot live without WiFi, WHERE IS THE WIFI!?!?!?
For being in the developing world, internet is surprisingly accessible here. Not a lot of people have home computers or laptops so a lot of young people will invest in smartphones so they can access basic internet services and social media.
People don’t have running water but they’ll have a BlackBerry with internet services? #priorities 😛
Sype: If I ever go visit I’ll prob bring my Driod so I can . . . surf the web . . . at night . . .
Does Africa have running water? All the African videos I watch has everyone living in huts.
In the rural villages, a lot people do live in huts or tin shacks and don’t have running water. Some also don’t have electricity. If you find yourself in a town or city, it’s like being in suburban America- big houses with pools, fancy cars, running water & electricity.
Sype: I wonder what they call Pizza Hut out there o.O
How do people hook-up without a Tinder?
See – “There Is No First Date When Being A Peace Corps Volunteer”.
Sype: They probably do a lot of web . . . surfing.
Are there lions and cheetahs and rhinos everywhere? Like the Lion King?
Yes, there are tons of these wild animals. No, they don’t go running through the villages. Most of these animals have been contained in areas that we call ‘game reserves’ which are huge areas of land that have been fenced off because animal poaching is such a big problem here, but the animals are still able to roam free in their natural habitats. Even though game reserves do add a level of deterrence from hunting, but poachers are sneaky and still find ways to break in and kill animals. See this recent article about the rhino population…
Spye: JUMANJI!!!!
How do you know what your friends are up to if not everyone has a Facebook?
Facebook has monopolized all communication forms in the present day, but it is not the only way to contact people. Whatsapp is actually the most common communication tools we use as Peace Corps volunteers to communicate with each other, and for communication back home here is, of course still email and the perennial snail mail system. FB may seem so extraneous, but having access to it makes me feel incredibly connected.
Sype: I see Africa also does late night regretful Facebook booty calls.
Do movies come out at the same time as it does in America?
For the most part, yes. Sometimes it may take a week or two for the new releases to show up on our big screens.
Sype: I wonder if the whole cast of Lion King was there when the movie came out . . .
Do you have to hunt for your food?
Considering I’m a vegetarian, the answer would be NO. I do garden however, so I guess you could say I grow & cut my own food. Which is almost like hunting. Expect the food isn’t running away from me, it’s stuck in the ground.
Sype: What about ‘playful’ hunting? Where you shoot guns filled with love?
Do you know any monkeys?
I actually made friends with some Samango monkeys recently! And by ‘made friends’ I mean, they liked to steal my food and I let them because I wanted their friendship. And I was slightly too scared of them to refuse.
Spye: Abu!!!
Inside the Dark Minds of Koko and Airec 