asian

A Very Asian Christmas: A brief history about Christmas and Asians

Posted on Updated on

On the first day of the new year, I decided to post share a little knowledge I found concerning Asians and Christmas with a little Sype commentary. check it out and tell me what cha think!

#SorryAsianParents

By Airec Sype

not trying to break Santas lap not trying to break Santas lap

As I reminisce about my Christmas vacation, the overpowering memory of me sitting in my parents living room watching my six year old baby brother play Call of Duty on the PS3 underneath the 62’’ TV, as my eleven year old baby sister watched Ugly Betty on the iPad by the decorated artificial Christmas tree with wrapped presents underneath, this makes me wonder . . . where the fuck was my Christmas when I was 10 years old?

Growing up in the Central Valley, a predominantly White Christian Conservative area, the concept of Asian culture was foreign to kids of other ethnic culture in grade school. So a question I was often asked was, “Do Asians celebrate Christmas?”

Yes. Yes Asians do celebrate Christmas, you racist!

LOL, well let me elaborate on that. Yes and no, and well kind of.

For…

View original post 1,081 more words

Advertisements

#SorryAsianParents: A documentation of my failure and success as an “Asian-American”

Posted on Updated on

Hi this is Airec here. So of y’all might know that I’m Asian, no shocker there. So I decided to have a new writing project call SorryAsianParents. It should be funny, wacky and super random so check it out.

#SorryAsianParents

I just found this hat and I really love In-N-Out I just found this hat and I really love In-N-Out

By Airec Sype

I am Asian-American.

What does that mean exactly? Shit, I don’t really know.

I guess if you break AA down to its two root words, my ethnicity is composed of Asian and American. (Also being American can mean a bunch of different things, in this sense I’m talking about mainstream “white-America,” I guess. But I’m not trying to be racist here, or at least not too racist).

So I’m Asian-American. Parents were born in Asia, I was born in America; I have spiky hair and sharp eyes, but I don’t have an Asian accent . . . most of the time, sometimes it just slips out, just the tip (;P). All of these things that compose me are borrowed cultural stereotypes and figures that mix the two worlds into my own.

Even though two different cultures are…

View original post 1,117 more words

#FirstWorldProblems: Africa Assumptions by an Asian in America

Posted on

Wise words from Africa
Wise words from Africa

By KokoKai and Sype

Everyone has heard of #FirstWorldProblems, a hash tag that people in privileged nations use to complain about their . . . well, first world problems. But after watching a video (you can see down below) titled “First World Problems read by Third World People” by Water is Life, you start to feel like maybe using that hash tag is a little over the top.

 

 

So I, Sype, decided to ask my own ignorant American questions to my partner who is currently serving in the Peace Corps in South Africa. I tried to think of the most hyperbolic questions possible without seaming too racist (and stupid).

-And I, KokoKai, am happy to answer his questions because these are things that I even wondered about before moving my ass over to this side of the globe.

 

I cannot live without WiFi, WHERE IS THE WIFI!?!?!?

For being in the developing world, internet is surprisingly accessible here. Not a lot of people have home computers or laptops so a lot of young people will invest in smartphones so they can access basic internet services and social media.

People don’t have running water but they’ll have a BlackBerry with internet services? #priorities 😛

Sype: If I ever go visit I’ll prob bring my Driod so I can . . . surf the web . . . at night . . .

 

Does Africa have running water? All the African videos I watch has everyone living in huts.

In the rural villages, a lot people do live in huts or tin shacks and don’t have running water. Some also don’t have electricity. If you find yourself in a town or city, it’s like being in suburban America- big houses with pools, fancy cars, running water & electricity.

Sype: I wonder what they call Pizza Hut out there o.O

How do people hook-up without a Tinder?

See – “There Is No First Date When Being A Peace Corps Volunteer”.

Sype: They probably do a lot of web . . . surfing.

Are there lions and cheetahs and rhinos everywhere? Like the Lion King?

Yes, there are tons of these wild animals. No, they don’t go running through the villages. Most of these animals have been contained in areas that we call ‘game reserves’ which are huge areas of land that have been fenced off because animal poaching is such a big problem here, but the animals are still able to roam free in their natural habitats. Even though game reserves do add a level of deterrence from hunting, but poachers are sneaky and still find ways to break in and kill animals. See this recent article about the rhino population…

Spye: JUMANJI!!!!

How do you know what your friends are up to if not everyone has a Facebook? 

Facebook has monopolized all communication forms in the present day, but it is not the only way to contact people. Whatsapp is actually the most common communication tools we use as Peace Corps volunteers to communicate with each other, and for communication back home here is, of course still email and the perennial snail mail system. FB may seem so extraneous, but having access to it makes me feel incredibly connected.

Sype: I see Africa also does late night regretful Facebook booty calls.

Do movies come out at the same time as it does in America?

For the most part, yes. Sometimes it may take a week or two for the new releases to show up on our big screens.

Sype: I wonder if the whole cast of Lion King was there when the movie came out . . .

Do you have to hunt for your food?

Considering I’m a vegetarian, the answer would be NO. I do garden however, so I guess you could say I grow & cut my own food. Which is almost like hunting. Expect the food isn’t running away from me, it’s stuck in the ground.

Sype: What about ‘playful’ hunting? Where you shoot guns filled with love?

Do you know any monkeys?

I actually made friends with some Samango monkeys recently! And by ‘made friends’ I mean, they liked to steal my food and I let them because I wanted their friendship. And I was slightly too scared of them to refuse.

Spye: Abu!!!

photo-3

Bros v. Pros: The Mens Guide to EDC While Trying Not To Be a Douchebag

Posted on Updated on

I know not really, but during festival season this becomes more and more true
I know not really, but during festival season this becomes more and more true

By: Sype.

With only just a few days till the Electric Daisy Carnival in Las Vegas, I think it’s time for me to provide some BROs v. PROs tips from my six years of attendance (embarking on my 7th year down the rabbit hole this year). This will be a continuation of my partner, Koko’s, blog post, “Hoes vs Pros: An Empowering Women’s Guide to EDC 2014.” So make sure you check her post out as well, she has a bit more information for the ladies than I do.

Before I continue on with this long laundry list of BROs vs PROs do’s and don’ts, I would like to say a DISCLAIMER!: I am not an expert in any field, except for the field of disappointing my Asian parents (which is why I created the hashtag #sorryasianparents), so I would like you to read this with a grain of salt; especially the BRO tips, those are to be taken lightly. These are things that I’m doing and that have worked for me in the past. I don’t want you hurting yourself or others and be coming after ME for it. I don’t wanna get sued.

(Asian accent) One more ting, I want to emphasize on the element of friends: The people you surround yourself with at EDC can make or break your experience. Make sure you trust the right people and make sure your friends are there for you and you for them. I know from experience that sometimes in the lowest of lows, your best friend can become your biggest enemy. EDC has shown me some of my friends’ true colors and it has affected those bonds, so pick your friends wisely.

The final group picture of EDC 2013 as the sun was rising.
The final group picture of EDC 2013 as the sun was rising.

Now let’s begin.

BEFORE EDC

DIET/Exercise

im still not in the best shape now but im trying. And I cut out my friend Grumpy Cat from the picture haha.
im still not in the best shape now but im trying. And I cut out my friend Grumpy Cat from the picture haha.

Usually everyone, from the moment you buy your ticket and even from the moment you leave the speedway the final day of EDC 2013, you think about how for the next EDC you’re gonna be in better shape. And if you’re already in better shape, you want to be in even better shape.

BRO TIP: Alright bros, it’s almost time for EDC and you wanna be  swoll as fu*k. So how do you get there? It’s time to take some pre-workouts and magic diet pills where you can workout and eat as much as you want. Do a bunch of bicep workouts and chest flies, show them other betas and bitches that you’re a mutha effin Alpha at this rave. Suns out, guns out.

PRO TIP: Well, the best advice is to watch your diet. Sure you workout, but that only gives you a little leeway and doesn’t excuse you from eating whatever you want. You can chose to diet however you want, just make sure you listen to your body to avoid pushing your “weight loss” to harmful limits. Eat right and do a lot of cardio; trust me, your lungs will appreciate this.

REMEMBER: Supplements are there to help you, not build a magic body with no foundation. Supplements can help you obtain your goal of getting into better shape, but once you’re in Vegas and journeyed through the 3 days of EDC, workout supplements aren’t gonna be of much use. Your body is going to go through 3 days (even more days since you’re gonna be in Vegas for more than those 3 days of EDC) of partying, and a supplements-fueled body is going to be reduced to its basic form.

Also, I’ve been doing a lot of leg workouts to help me prepare for all the jumping that will occur. So DON’T SKIP LEG DAYS: lots of squats, calf raises, and of course body weight jump squats. You’ll never know when you’re gonna put that hottie that you’ve been eying all night on your shoulders for a ride so she can see her favorite DJs from a sky view.

lifting chicks up on the Golden Gate Bridge
lifting chicks up on the Golden Gate Bridge

Asides from diet and exercising, REST is really important. Your body cannot heal itself, nor lose the weight you desire unless you get rest. A good amount of rest is just as important as an E-stack.

Cpt. A and Tiny Ginger passed out at 6am in Vegas
Cpt. A and Tiny Ginger passed out at 6am in Vegas

Supplies/Attire: Stuff will get destroyed so be prepared to lose shit.

Life always favors the well prepared. I forgot who said that, or maybe that is just grinded into my brain because I’m Asian and we always like to plan things, iono.

BRO TIP: Tanks, sunglasses, dr*g, money, tickets, hoes. All. You. Need.

I mean, you can't fit all of these in your fanny-pack but you get the idea.
I mean, you can’t fit all of these in your fanny-pack but you get the idea.

PRO TIP: You don’t want to wear some flashy Nikes to EDC, you want to wear something that is comfortable to jump around in or something that you wouldn’t mind destroying. Trust me, after 3 days in the Speedway your going to want to throw those shoes out with all the dusk and holes (not to mention all the urine or other humanly fluids that you will have stepped on in the port-a-potty) that they will accumulated.

PRO TIP: You also can’t show off those awesome (or in my case awkward-standing-and-twitching) dance moves without the proper bottoms. Shorts are usually ideal for this kind of situation, especially in the heat of Vegas. Sometimes I would wear hipster jeans that I cut off at knee length (they show off my nice ass and hard calves baby). But make sure you chose the right kind of jeans. The first time I tried this I used Abercrombie jeans . . . horrible mistake. The ones that work for me are Levis jeans, they are a bit more elastic and comfortable. If you have a pair of raver pants, by all means wear ‘em if you can stand the heat.

PRO TIP: You shouldn’t care about how you dance, IT’S EDC and no one else is going to care. This is a judgment free zone where you can express freely through your own form of dance. Go ahead and let loose, have some fun; move your arms and jump around. You’ve waited a whole 365 days for this and you can’t let someone judgments weight you down! Be yourself and the fun will follow.

REMEMBER: Although EDC is the main reason why you’re in Vegas, it’s important to bring some “Vegas” clothes just in case you decide to hit up a club. It never hurts to look nice.

REMINDER: It’s also really important that you bring some comfortable clothes. That Vegas heat will kill you if you don’t prepare for it. Plus, you don’t want to be sweating balls I’m sure.

PRO TIP: The Fanny-Pack! I know that some people make fun of me for wearing a fanny-pack at raves, but come-on, they’re so useful. You can put stuff in it like cigarettes, maps, water-bottles, lighters, iono whatever, in it so you won’t feel discomfort while twitching around at EDC. Other useful fanny-pack items are Vicks, gum, and chapstick. Well, if you go to raves then I don’t really need to explain this one. You might have to sneak some of these stuff in so guys, I recommend clenching ’em between your balls. But make sure to wrap some kind of tissue paper around ’em so when you actually use these illicit items, they won’t be smelling the your ball-sweat. (Side Story: Juno and I during EDC 2009 snuck in Vicks vapor rub sticks and our entire group ended up partaking it’s menthol aura . . . so in a non-direct way, we kinda t-bagged our friends.)

PRO TIP: Extra supplies like cigs, chapstick, Vicks, candy, whatever, are great tools for making new friends. Offer some to those in need and a friend will be made in the exchange.

BRO TIP: Use em to get hoes!

PRO TIP: Avoid being selective to those in need and (when you can) avoid being a douchebag (I know I sometimes don’t think and fall to this trait.)

Snacks are important, especially if you’re broke or just don’t wanna leave your hotel room. Bring something easy to chew- y’all know this one, right? Another thing that I like to bring is a meal replacement shake or something like Ensure or Slim-fast. You don’t really have to listen to this one, but I recommend it. In those times of post-hungover-don’t-want-to-eat EDC moments, these shakes are easy to digest and has lots of protein, carbs, fiber, and calories that your body is desperately needing due to 12 hours of raging with alcohol and other party favors.

!!!IN EDC!!!

6 of 70, the first of us to enter in EDC 2013 Day 3
6 of 70, the first of us to enter in EDC 2013 Day 3

Scheduling

BRO TIP: Walk in with your bros after a hard pregame because shit aint cheap at EDC. Pregame your dome off and try to meet some cuties on the shuttle buses; get them digits. Then you walk in with your bros and find some hoes to grind on. F*ck the timesluts (timeslots)! LETS GET FU*KED UP!!!

PRO TIP: Solidify your schedule. I like to make sure I know who I’m seeing and who else wants to enjoy those DJs with me. When I go to EDC, it’s for the music and the experience, not to get laid. Well, I mean if I meet an awesome girl then I guess that’s a little extra. So I like to make sure I look at the time slots to make sure I know where I’m going and my friends know where I’m going to be.

PRO TIP: Since I don’t have a smart phone and just a flip-phone (this is because I’m poor and I’m spending all my money at raves), I like to text myself and my friends the car’s location. The parking lot of the Speedway is gridded so each section of the parking lot has a specific spot.

BRO TIP: Just get into EDC as fast as you can so you don’t miss anything. It doesn’t matter if you don’t remind yourself where your car is, just get in! If you do lose your car, just aimlessly wander around in the dark parking-lot. You’ll find the car . . . eventually.

PRO TIP: Make sure everyone in your car has each-others’ numbers and a specific time  and place of where to meet up. This happened to me last year when my phone died and my iTouch didn’t have my friend, Cpt. Ahab’s, number. This caused a lot of frustration. You can also write down important numbers and important (hotel) addresses on a card and keep it in your wallet. This also depends on you NOT LOSING SHIT!!!

PRO TIP: Have a meeting spot. If your festival group is as big as mine, about 70 people big #ZipperSquad, then you will need to have designated meet up times. Last year we usually did every 3 hours or so. This will help on group pictures. We all know that one person in the group, or in my group 5 unnamed girls, that loves to take group pictures all the time. This way you can help them complete this Xbox achievement now instead of hearing them nag about not being able to take a group picture later.

raving bring us together

PRO TIP: MAKE SURE YOU GUYS AGREE ON A MEET UP SPOT! Last year my group was suppose to meet up at the Zipper ride, but little did we know that there were TWO DIFFERENT ZIPPER RIDES! With the lack of telecommunications, a bunch of us kept appearing at different Zippers. Which then cause us to run around from one end of EDC to another. One of the negatives that this meet up situation is that the meet up could be during one of your favored DJ sets. You gotta pick and choose on what you want to do; I can’t choose for you.

Getting LOST!!!

BRO TIP: If you lose your friends then try and find a hoe. If you can’t find a hoe then FREAK THE F*CK OUT!!!

PRO TIP: Chances are you will lose people, or you yourself will get lost. So it’s important to keep track of your friends. I’ve seen some couples wearing chains made up of kandi before in the past. That’s a good idea . . . if you’re dating them! DO NOT engage in that kind of commitment (I know I hate commitment of any kind, ask the few girls I’ve tried dating) if you are not dating that person or not wanting to . . . how do I say this . . . have a magical evening with he/she. You can also hold hands with someone while traveling through crowds, but we all know bros don’t hold hands, it’s in our masculinity manual. I mean, I’m not homophobic but bros usually just don’t hold hands with bros . . . unless you’re a gay bro, then you can hold whatever you want. But I’ll hold your hand Lance (;P)

PRO TIP: If you do get lost, then I just enjoy it. Some of my most fun moments was when I got lost at EDC and wander abouts by myself. Try to enjoy the experience and don’t freak out. If you remember your meetup times then you should be safe. Also, try to make some new friends out of this. Mostly everyone at EDC is friendly and knows that (mostly) everyone is there to enjoy the magical wonderland of the Electric Daisy Carnival.

NEW FRWEND!!!!
NEW FRWEND!!!!

GIRLS!!!!! Why men do sh*t that they don’t want

GRIND BABY GRIND!!!
GRIND BABY GRIND!!!

BRO TIP: When looking for a mate, it’s easier to find the most fugged up one. If she’s trippin’ when shes a walkin’ then you best be stalking. Once you find that hot babe where you think her E and C needs your D to complete her set, then you just keep eying her, make sure she knows you’re staring at her. You can either try using one of these sweet pick-up lines from LessThan3 or follow my simple bro-oves. First, you slowly start pumping your fist towards her. As you get near her make sure she smells your man juice. After she notices your presence, take her from behind with a sneaky back-attack like the Alpha you are and start grinding on that ass. If she doesn’t like it then it’s not your fault, she’s probably a slut anyways. Repeat. Done.

PRO TIP: Despite my lack of knowledge with girls (most of the time I try to act as if girls don’t even like me), I know it’s not a good idea to knife a random girl from behind. I mean, yeah sure it has worked for me in the past, but not every girl likes to be grinded on with your cubby; as BuzzFeed explains to us why grinding can be unpleasant. Well, unless you look like Channing Tatum of course, then you can grind on whatever girl is willing. So I had to ask Koko for this part of the tips. She says that it is important to make sure the girl notices you first before sneaking up on her from behind, and that it’s best to converse with her before trying to ask for some bump & grind. She says that it’s even better to ask a girl to dance. Also remember guys, dancing with a girl does not mean any grinding has to be involved, you can still dance with a girl and not have your lusting semi rubbing all up against her.

PRO TIP: If a girl rejects your invitation to dance or hook up, make sure you respect her decision. It doesn’t make her a slut if she chooses not to participate in your lustful intention. However, if she does reject you for being, oh iono, Asian or having a flip-phone, then maybe (just a little bit) she might be a bitch.

And remember girls, not every guy who approach you is trying to get into your pants (maybe). Try to make a friend out of it. And if the guy is a creep then just tell him to leave. This blog article by Eberhardt Smith, titled “Stop Saying “I Have a Boyfriend”” offers some good advice in this field. If he continues to aggressively pursue or if he calls you names, then remember that you have about 100,000 friends who will help you out of the situation. A real gentleman will respect you for your body as well as your mind.

END OF THE DAY 

Leaving EDC

Rave Zombies . . . EVERYWHERE!!!!
Rave Zombies . . . EVERYWHERE!!!!

BRO TIP: GET THE F*CK OUT OF THERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN. F*CK EVERYONE ELSE AND SAVE YOURSELF FROM THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!

PRO TIP: Make sure you have all of your stuff before leaving. If you happen to lose something, walk over to lost & found to see if they have your stuff. Also, make sure your friends are with you.

PRO TIP: Make sure you refill your water bottles and use the bathroom before you leave, it’s going to be one long dreadful ride back to the hotel.

BRO TIP: If you need to pee, just go off the side of the road. F*ck the police.

Back at the Hotel

BRO TIP: Stop being such a p*ssy and drink up, snort up, and get ready to hit the pool parties. Since you didn’t eat anything and just danced for 12 hours straight, you’re gonna look hella ripped bro.

REMINDER: Girls always have a cheap ticket for pool parties, or free at times. Guys, you’re kinda f*cked on this one. Unless you know a promoter. But then again, EVERYONE is a promoter in Vegas. So try and get tickets in advance by searching for pool-parties online. Here is Global Dance Electronic list.

PRO TIP: After a solid night of raging it’s important to eat & rest. Even if you nap for 3 hours, it’s still more important than pounding a Red Bull and heading off to a pool party. I mean by all means attend a pool party, but make sure you’re in the right condition to do so.

Getting that well needed rest under the table
Getting that well needed rest under the table

Well, after powering through this you can take my “PRO” advice or just simply laugh along with my BRO-vice. Just remember that it’s important to put your health first. You can “live it up” or “YOLO,” but make sure your body can handle it. You’re at EDC to have fun, not die and END EDC for all of us. Also make sure your friends around you are safe and in good health as well. I know some of us festival goers like to partake in party favors, but don’t be afraid to approach the medic tent. Your life is more important than getting in trouble by mom and dad for partaking in the festival dark side. Insomniac has a list of do’s and don’ts as well, take a look at ’em. But just remember, always be a PRO raver and not (just) a BRO.

Here is this year’s teaser trailer:

Creative Writing: Not a Real Major Asian Parents?

Posted on Updated on

yup, she told me this
yup, she told me this, the beating of the Asian housewife never ends

Its been awhile since I’ve post a Koko and Airec conversation, so here is one after Koko saw a nice Tickld description of college majors.

STAY TUNE FOR MORE ASIAN AMERICAN COMMENTARIES AFTER!!!

****** Note: This conversation was ripped from my Facebook so the links will open on the same page. Click up there ^^^ if you want to see the Tickld link open on another page. Links after this conversation will open on another page. Happy Juno? ******

 

Koleana Kai McGuire posted toAirec Syprasert

“Because job security is for pussies”

http://m.tickld.com/x/37-slogans-for-college-majors-if-they-were-actually-honest

Airec Syprasert not gonna lie, when i first saw this post i was pretty drunk and didnt read it, but now im glad i did. funny cuz your major isnt on there!

Koleana Kai McGuire Haha it is pretty funny. maybe my major isn’t popular enough to be included?

Airec Syprasert or maybe your major is too bro?

Koleana Kai McGuire Lol too bro? Its possible

Airec Syprasert kin, a major that focus on muscles and pulling bitches? yea, thats pretty bro, bro. haha

Koleana Kai McGuire Hahaha well when you put it that way…its pretty bro

Airec Syprasert says the broett. lol.

Airec Syprasert http://www.buzzfeed.com/…/77-facts-that-sound-like-huge…

77 Facts That Sound Like Huge Lies But Are Actually Completely True

www.buzzfeed.com

Get ready to have your mind blown into a different time zone.

Airec Syprasert check out number 25

Koleana Kai McGuire Hahaha that’s awesome

Airec Syprasert you can go ahead and plan your move now

 

Creative Writing: Because Job Security is for Pussies

Yea, I guess it’s true that I have not been able to find a job after college. And yes, there is no job security for creative writing majors.

If anyone believed in this fact to the t, it’s my parents. Oh boy, the look on their faces when I told them that I wanted to be an English, or Engurish: it’s my crappy understanding of the English language, major was priceless . . . Oh wait, I didn’t have the balls to tell them face to face; I took the cowards way out (like how most bros in high school took the I’ll-just-break-up-with-you-over-Myspace route) and did it over the phone . . . after being in college for 3 years. I seriously could sense their disappointed chakra over my shitty flip-phone. (And I probably still have a flip-phone because I was an Engurish major.)

But seriously though, how do you tell your ASIAN parents that you wanna become a “writer” instead of a doctor, or lawyer, or pediatrician, or whatever practical real (real in a sense that my parents value as a “real” major) major. Being the first son of an immigrant Asian family to go to a 4 year university and failing at their first step (choosing the right major) is not an easy task to preform. Hell, till this day my parents are still trying to get me to do something else in life other than writing . . . AND I’VE ALREADY GRADUATED!

Seriously though, that tiger mom (a relentless mean Asian mom who’s always trying to get you to study and whose once cock blocked the shit out of you with the girl of your dreams before by pulling a Moses when he smashed the golden ox . . . this is actually a true story) is effin’ relentless when it comes to changing your education. Check out this tiger mom meme blog.

This video cracks me up every-time #cockblockingasianparents

And anyone who has or have an Asian immigrant father knows not to mess with him . . . or else you see that fly swatter that he bought from Chinatown earlier used on you. #weasiansknowallaboutthatflyswatter

I mean I guess I could have had chosen a real Asian-esk major and bite the bullet to become a fucking scientist or a nurse (but that wouldn’t really work since I’m not Filipino) but I didn’t want to. I have my American dream, I choose my path and rebelled against my Asian ways. Truth be told, I think I was only one of the few, and I really do mean few, Asian kids in the creative writing program at SFSU. I had to make the Yellow Brothas proud and represent our people in the creative writing department.

In this article, its states that Asian Americans who are pressured by their parents are more susceptible to depression and suicide . . . I don’t want any of that. I don’t wanna be another Asian American who grows up hating their career choice because it’s one made by their parents. Shit, do you know how many (Other)-Americans hate their life now because they hate their fuggen job. It’s a never ending cycle of regret. I’ll rather be a teacher than become a nurse and hate my life. Well, I mean at least this way I can enrich the young minds of our future . . . while meeting single moms along the way. I maybe Asian and a hipster, but I’m still kinda of a bro and I do have bro dreams.

Also me a doctor? I don’t know how that’s gonna work. As some of my friends who knows me, how can anyone see this man taking care of or being in charge of someone else’s life. This man who once tried beer-bonging two beers with two 151 shots in it (successfully and regretfully), this man who has raged 5 sleepless nights in Vegas for EDC . . . THREE TIMES, this man who still live in a frat house and is broke as shit (still I think this is because this is because of my choice to become an Engurish major); I just don’t think that’s a good idea for anyone.

Shit, before I joined my fraternity, bless Pi Kappa Phi, I told my parents that I was joining a teaching club for people who were interested in teaching. I did learn how to be a rightful Christian man, but there are somethings that I learned and did that I would never want my future wife n’ children to know. And of course, I hope my Asian parents never find out what their first born did. Or else I would be force to live a life in the temple without distractions . . . especially women.

I’m a proud Asian American who have American cultural value and was raised with the ways of the Asian. Yes the ways of the Asian is a secret martial arts form. Its my birth right to decide what I want to do with my life and it’s my choice to defy the Asian American Model-Minority stereotypes. Hell, if they wanted to force me into doing what they wanted me to do then they should have had me in Asian, or at least Chinatown. This way no sense of Western ideals of freedom would have crept into my soul.

Being an English Creative Writing graduate may not have been the best choice for making cash, nor may it have been the best choice for gaining a higher bragging right for my parents to brag about within their gossiping Asian American community back at home, but it’s my choice as an American born citizen. I may not have job security, but my god, am I going to have fun drinking my way till I do make it as a writer.

 

-I hope you have a good one, Sype

-PS, mom and dad, if you end up reading this, I gotta say #sorryasianparents.

-PSS, but still respect your parents, because if it wasn’t for them you would probably be born in Asia somewhere making jeans for Wal-Mart instead of being in college where you can drink your asses off and try n’ fug white girls (or boi’s, whatever your into and if you’re a girl).

 

 

 

Rick Rolled w/ Avicii While I Square Dance w/ a Dog

Posted on Updated on

Nilsofficial released this month a hilarious mash-up video of Avicii’s “Wake Me Up” and Rick Astley “Never Gonna Let You Down.” It’s so funny that you won’t mind getting Rick Rolled, over and over and over again.

I’m one of the few of my festival friends that like Avicii and his new country-folk-infused-EDM style. Everyone else seems to hate it and that “twanging” noise, as my friend Noco the Mouth would say. (We call her the Mouth because she likes to chime in her two-cents every time she’s blacked out and not because she has a big mouth, or at least I didn’t say that. But we love her.) Avicii’s new style is less foreign to me because I actually like country music; this is probably derived from growing up in the Central Valley, in Visalia to be exact.

Sue me; I’m an Asian boy who likes country music and college football. Breaking effin’ stereotypes baby.

Of course when Avicii first debuted his new infused style at Ultra Music Festival 2013, not many people were happy and just fugging hated it. Many people took their hate to the forums online and became keyboard heroes. Many called him an un-pure form of House music and discriminated his attempt to desegregate EDM and folk. Many people believed that he fell off his wagon and hit his head on “shitty country music,” shaming him for his quest to venture out into the new and unknown. And those many are just haters behind a computer screen who are blinded by a uniformed formula of a “successful” house song.

Listen to his set from Ultra here:

I was there in Miami that night and I know I enjoyed it! I got my hoe-down on, surprising everyone at Ultra to see an Asian boy square dancing away. For it was them that night who was squinting, just to make sure their vision was not lying to ’em at the sight of a country dancing panda. <(:))

Despite what many have said (when I say many, I mean those EDM snobs that only listen to crazy sub-genre-techno-deep-house) about his new style, it has gained huge success. “Wake Me Up” actually topped the British music charts as number one for a few weeks. True, the albums name, is a huge success.

Give his album a listen:

Ultra wasn’t the first, nor was it the last, time I gave the hoe a little down. Any chance I get, I’ll square my elbows and flail out those knees in a seizure kinda manner, it’s what I call dancing I guess. Here is a few times my friends and I have gotten really drunk and decided to square dance to “Wake Me Up:” (the volume sucks so you have to turn it up on high.)

Notice how you can hear the MasterBlaster bellowing his Mexican laughter at our expense.

Again, at a different time, my friends and I are drunk and decided to do another country swang, this time with a puppy:

Forgive us, this is after hitting up five different bars, and it’s 4am. And also, I believe I did an off-the-wall-upside-down twerk after this was filmed. It’s not that hard.

Country-folk, love or hate it, Avicii has infused it with his own style. I mean, its fun to jump around to so why hate. Just embrace it, let it in, if not then try just the tip and we’ll see where it will lead . . . So for the time being, enjoy getting Rick Rolled.

-Sype.

Asian Boyfriend No Welcome Here!!!

Posted on Updated on

asian boyfriend

Everyone who’s friends with me on Facebook knows that I love to browse the internet for funny shit and that BuzzFeed is one of the blogs that I frequently “share” on Facebook. Earlier this week, I came across a BuzzFeed post about some vicious attacks on Lorde, 17 year old pop-singer from New Zealand, and her boyfriend, James Lowe.

According to BuzzFeed, the original “attack” came from rapper Tyler, the Creator. I put attack in quotation marks because I don’t know if it was intended as an attack (something which you can never really know because Tyler, the Creator, is fucking crazy).

Now, I’m not focusing on the non-feud between Lorde and Tyler, the main disgust I feel is from the Twitter attacks that followed.

Tyler, the Creator’s tweet sparked a clash of resistance against Lorde, primarily attacking her boyfriend of Asian descent.

The onslaught of Twitter attacks were brought on by One Direction and Justin Bieber fans. These tweens accused Lorde of calling their false demigods ugly.

In Lorde’s defense, she did not accuse One Direction or Justin Bieber of being ugly.

I’m not going to go into details about what these little girls and stupid boys were saying about Lorde and James, but some of their Tweets contain the words “Hoe” and “Chinese old fart.”

You can read it all here: http://www.BuzzFeed.com/ryanhatesthis/one-direction-fans-on-twitter-are-saying-insanely-racist-thi?bffb

Who knew that these little tweens can be so blood thirsty behind a keyboard?

Now, I’m not saying that I think One Direction and Justin Bieber sucks, but I don’t particularly like their music; however, I respect other people’s opinions that like it. This are just one Asian boy’s opinion.

But Justin Bieber, in particular, I don’t like personally; especially after his attack on Michael Woods manager in Korea earlier this year.

And if you like Justin Bieber and don’t like my opinion, you can either write a comment or, hell, get your own site and BLOG ABOUT IT!!!

Linda West, of Jezebel, stated to BuzzFeed, “Even the tweets that don’t specifically mention Lowe’s race, I suspect, are at least partially driven by our culture’s nasty stereotyping of Asian men as unsexy and sexless.”

Why is it that in America (and I say America because this is where I live and where I have experience dating shortcomings), Asian males are viewed as “unsexy” and emasculated when paired up against the standards of attractiveness?

Is our skin too yellow? Do our wide eyes scare you? Are we too smart and weird and nerdy and geeky to be attractive??

This type of “thought” makes it hard for Asian Americans to date outside of their race.

I know other races have their own “sexual identification:” black males being “big,” Hispanic males being exotic with a splash of Spanish spice, European males with their thick charming accents. But what is Asian American males’ identification? The ability to do your homework for you? The person to rely on to fix your broken iPhone screen?

Of course I know that not everyone is the same. I know that some girls don’t date Asian males not because they are racist; they are just simply not attracted to them. And I know some girls who do date -and in some cases only 🙂 – Asian males.

Here is a random funny video about Asians in a library:

This rant probably went off course about what I wanted to say, so let me just sum it up here: I hate how it’s so easy for people over the internet to attack an Asian male’s sexual identity when they’re in an interracial relationship!

I could probably go on further into this subject, I was once aspiring to become an Asian American Studies minor, but I will spare you an earful of preaching.

Another thing that was brought to my attention by my friend Lili is Lorde and her boyfriends’ age difference. Lorde is 17 and her boyfriend is 24 . . . (O.O)

Yes, I know that here in America their relationship is taboo. Better yet, illegal!!! But minute facts like that still didn’t stop me from trying to date a freshman when I was 18 in high school! Bro-five!

But the age of consent in New Zealand, where these two are from, is 16. And in their eyes (haha James Lowe’s eyes), and also by Mexican culture standards, 16 is the age of being a woman and thus being the legal age of consent.

Now, if I remember correctly, wasn’t pop-sensation Miley Cyrus getting d*** down by some 24 year old wrecking ball when she was like 17?

But what’s the difference? Is it just because Miley’s ex looks good in a tight t-shirt while Lorde’s boyfriend looks like your tutor in math class?

If we look at this through the eyes of Americans, then yeah, 24 to 16 is kinda gross.

However, if this is an American ethical standpoint we’re tackling, then let’s look at one of the great American actors, Morgan Freeman.

Not only did he date someone younger, but the woman that he left his wife for was his adopted granddaughter. E’Dena Hines is granddaughter of his first wife, Jeanette Adair Bradshaw. Freeman and E’Dena are not related by blood; the only connection they have is through his first wife, whom is E’Denas’ grandmother Bradshaw . . . (o.O)

Just something to point out in that link, E’Dena is trying to dispute that she and Freeman are related, but she called him “my grandfather” . . . that’s just a little gross. Just a little bit . . .

And yet no one talks about this (O.o)

Now, I’m not trying to justify a couple’s relationship age difference, I’m just trying to highlight the crude racist comments against Asians on the internet. I know I’m not a saint myself when it comes to race . . . but these people are just being mean!!!

So here we have it. In Lorde’s case, 16 is legal in New Zealand (and her boyfriend does kind of look like a Hipster Asian), but in Morgan Freeman’s case . . . let’s just say family reunions will never be the same.

-Hope y’all have a good one, Sype.

-PS, here I’ll leave you some screenshots that were the roots of this blog post! You can also see what my friends had to say on this matter!!!

lorde bf 1

lorde bf 2