Clubbing

Twerking . . . Friend or Foe?!?!

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my booty
my booty

For some of y’all who don’t know, there has been a Twerking epidemic in America. In countless clubs from the East to West Coast, drunk girls have fallen under the spell of the Twerk which causes them to get into a 2 point stance or on all 4(s) on the floor and shake their booty to hip-hop beats as they try to attract their mate (for the night).

Let me explain this Twerk a little more. According to Wikipedia, Twerking is a “dance move (debatable) that involves a person (preferably a woman) shaking their upper hips and lower hips in an up and down bouncing motion, causing them to shake, ‘wobble’ and ‘jiggle’ To ‘twerk’ means to ‘dance in a sexually suggestive fashion by twisting the hips.’”

To help explain the image of this cursed, but enticing movement (I mean come on guys, it’s great to see in da club), here is a video of a girl performing this act:

Not only are nightclubs in America infested with this (insert positive or negative adjective here) range of motion, but so are our high schools. Our nations youth are feeling “Twerk Fever.”

In San Diego, 33 high school girls were suspended for a Twerk video that they filmed and posted on YouTube.

The principal suspended the teenagers involved because it was filmed on school grounds using school equipment. (Sucks they got suspended, but funny as hell).

 So ladies, if you feel your intoxicated friend is about to get-her-Twerk-on, please stop her from embarrassing herself. And gentlemen, do the right thing and protect her lady status in high society . . .

. . . or you can take the devilishly hilarious alternative route.

Upon a situation where you feel the need to Twerk, you may be under the influence or just simply bored. So you may encourage the Twerkness to happen. You maybe feel the need to tell your drunk female, or male, friend to shake her (or his) booty in the air like it’s protesting something at San Francisco State. (If y’all don’t know, they’re a lot of protests at SF State).

It does not matter if they are doing it right or wrong, just make sure you have a camera out to film that shit so you can embarrass the shit out of them later.

Here is a funny Twerk video of a woman getting out-Twerk at an iHop . . . BY A GUY!

As you can tell, at the end of the video the woman notices her defeat and tries to rebuttal her loss with some more booty shaking. However, all that ass is not enough to regain the upper hand (or cheek).

So note this girls, just because you are a woman, or super attractive with an amazing booty that is a gift from God, you can still lose a Twerk battle due to your poor technique.

Check out this male who has foully caught the Twerk disease (but it’s super fuckin funny to watch this Asian guy scare the Twerk outta White people in Canada).

Now that you know, it is in your power to stop this “Twerk Fever” from spreading even more . . . or help it spread so you can laugh your Twerk off!

-Hoping for the best, Sype

PS, Hot chicks in the club Twerking . . . HOT! And if you’re not, please don’t try, nobody wants to have nightmares later.

PSS, here is an awesome video of a guy asking a girl out to prom with the POWER OF TWERKING!!! Shake that booty brotha, Shake that booty!

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Another TORQ Thursday with Gabriel and Dresden

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Gabriel and Dresden at TORQ ruby skye 2/22/2013
Gabriel and Dresden at TORQ Ruby Skye 2/22/2013

Last Thursday I danced, literally danced, on the line that separated house and trance with the help of legendary San Francisco based DJ’s Gabriel and Dresden.

On another TORQ Thursday night, the EDM promotion group brought in Josh Gabriel & Dave Dresden. I didn’t really know what to expect actually. I randomly saw them once at EDC 2012 (I believe), I’m not really too sure how good they were because I was a little blitzed when I saw them. So from whatever memory I could gather from that time I saw them, I decided it was worth seeing them again, even after working two different shifts for a combined total of 13 hours.

There were two things that I knew walking into their show: one, they have been around for awhile and are legends in the industry, and two, I absolutely love, love, effin’ love their remix of Sarah McLachlan – “Fallen.”

When I first heard of G&D remix of “Fallen,” I instantly fell in love with that song. If you’re listening to that song and have your headphones up, you’ll be able to fully experience the bass of G&D, which will beat your eardrums but yet it’s getting mended by the soothing melodic vocals of Miss Sarah McLachlan. It’s just a great marriage of euphoric melody and bass. Give it a listen and see for yourself.

So any who, there I am, standing in the middle of dance floor waiting for G&D to start, completely sober, [Yeah I know, being sober in a club is hard, but not if you enjoy the music then you can get drunk off the music (;P)], not knowing what to expect. Then the lights turn off, the only lights that are illuminating the club right now are those of the four screens in front of the DJ booth that flashed the names Gabriel and Dresden. Waiting and wondering what their first song would be, I started to hear a very familiar tune. Slowly I realized that it’s the Red Hot Chili Peppers!

Through the heavy bass and electronic song, I was able to decipher that it was a remix of RHCP “Otherside.” It was that moment when I instantly knew that it was going to be a good night.

The next thought that popped into my head was how were they going to fallow up “Otherside?” I was unsure about how they were going to keep up this energy that the crowd was now hungry for. My question was answered when I heard the melody to G&D classic track, “Tracking Treasures Down.” Although this track is an “oldie,” it still gets the crowd moving and grooving. Any other fans of EDM who knew this song welcomed it with cheers and roars, scattered by applauds; we were all happy to hear a classic.

Actually I found out later that the track G&D played was “Tracking Coconut Down,” a mash-up of their song with Cold Blue. In fact, their set was like mash-up galore! I’m not a mathematician of any sort (but I am Asian so that might count for something), but I would say a good 75 percent of their set were mash-ups.

There were ALL sorts of mash-ups in their set. A lot of their mash-ups included Top 40’s hits with EDM songs. Yes yes, I know how that sounds. I mean if someone asked me if I would like to hear Top 40’s hits at an EDM club, I would say F**K NO! But G&D has proved to me that it is possible.

The way these two men blend the vocals of Top 40’s hits into energetic EDM songs that were still considered as good songs was phenomenal. One of the things that I immediately thought of was that Harry Potter meme “what kind of sorcery is this?!” But whether it be magic learned from Hogwarts or amazing producing skills, G&D did it; their rendition of Top 40’s tunes made me hop around in a club with a fat smile.

In their Top 40’s throw down, I heard songs like “Sex is on Fire” by Kings of Leon, “99 Red Balloons” by Nena, “Mr.Brightside” by The Killers, “Track 2” by Blur . . . the list goes on! The combination of electronic beats with these alternative rock vocals gave G&D a sort of retro feel. I know that the songs I heard that night are not that old, but I was defiantly transported back to the 80’s when I was on the dance floor of Ruby Skye that night. Or what I thought the 80’s were like from what I gathered from watching movies.

My favorite “retroy” mash-up of the night had to be Eric Pryda “Allein” with Human League “Don’t You Want Me.” It’s really good, trust me. LISTEN TO IT!!!

Of course G&D busted out mash-ups of today’s top EDM hits; Such as their mash-up of Porter Robinson “Language” and Andain “Promises.” I know a friend who would have gone all soft for that mash-up.

For the first half of their set, I literally felt as the bass was attacking my face. The stuff that these two men were spinning just hit so hard, sending my skin into vibrating waves as each song hit that kick drum.

It wasn’t long before G&B started fading into their roots. As the night slowly transforms into morning, their hard hitting housey set started becoming uplifting, becoming progressive house, and arguably a little trancey.

I was so pleased, as well as many other older EDM fans in the crowd that night, when Motorcycle “As the Rush Come” came on. We . . . felt the rush come! LOL.  Another great euphoric song that was played in their second half, and also love so dearly, was Sander Van Doorn and Adrian Lux “Eagles.”

The song selection of the night was amazing. Gabriel and Dresden did an AMAZING job. I loved their entire set. It was full of energy and was pumped of familiar vocals that made the crowd sing along. Their set was defiantly a crowd pleaser, but these two men did it in a way that still holds their own flavor that makes Josh and Dave Gabriel and Dresden.

One of my favorite images of the night however was not of G&D, but a couple slow dancing to G&D encore song “Zocalo” (by no other than Armin Van Buuren feat. Gabriel and Dresden). Is it creepy that I think a couple slow dancing in a crowd that was jumping up and down, side to side furiously to an EDM song was heartwarming? Kind-of-but-not-really. As other people around this couple jumped around to the beat of the song, this couple found their own beat and only thought of them to be in the room, slow dancing away. I couldn’t help but appreciate this weird cinematic moment that was happening. I did not see this as a creepy Asian guy people watching, I saw this as one of the true essence of EDM, as music that can make people rage but love at the sometime.