Merry Christmas from Koko and Airec and Deadpool
I forgot to re-blog this from Xmas. Opps. Typical Airecisms
By Airec Sype.
Howdy y’all. It’s been some time since we both have posted on our blog but here we are today. We both have been working on various different projects and still have been writing on different platforms. So it’s sad that we have been neglecting our baby. I (Sype.) am posting on this site because my credit card that was funding the payment for A Dark Minded Giggle expired and it was gonna cost me about 100 bucks to buy back the domain name . . . yeah, f*ck that. So I’m using this.
Let me start off with MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Whereas most families are spending their Xmas together, my dysfunctional but functional Asian family is spending it not together (I’m sure there is a better word for that). Any who, I’m sure we will all be together right before I leave.
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Puns in Ikea . . . Yeah, Puns Are Still Funny
By Airec Sype.
Simon Gilmore released this about video of him shopping, or rather his girlfriend shopping and he annoying, her at an IKEA. In the two-minute video, the Australian relentlessly throws puns after puns at Dona. Got to hand it to him, his quick wit is something to admire as he unleashes ’em one after another. Some may say that these puns on the Swedish labeling of items are painful and that he should stop, but then there people like me who enjoys the play on words and loved every minute of the video!
Puns are amazing, they have been around since the dawn of comedy. Sure puns are easy to make, but my God, that one good pun can knock you on your little punny! No, I don’t think that works but you get what I mean. There is just an art form to the comedy of a painfully bad, but yet good, pun.
Here, have CollegeHumor explain it to you!
Well anyways, I can understand this mans pain(s). I’ve been shopping with girls before and it kinda sucks; there’s too much time looking at stuff and thinking about maybe buying the stuff. So him making a day out of it seems like the right way to spend his time walking around IKEA. At first Dona doesn’t seem to enjoy it, but she eventually comes around.
If you want a play-by-play of how it all went down, check out The Australian coverage of it. Actually from reading their piece, we learn that Gilmore is a part-time comedy writer. Well, who would have thought.
Check out the video and have a few laughs, I know I did.
Till next time, Sype.
Bernie Sanders Tour: Just In Time For Festival Season!!!
By Airec Sype.
It’s that time of year again where everyone’s posting Facebook or Twitter political updates, telling everyone that they care for more than just funny memes or cat pictures. I’m not here to push some kind of political agenda upon y’all, I’m just here to post funny videos and links.
Funny Or Die just released a video projecting Bernie Sanders campaign as a music concert tour titled “Bernie Sanders Summer Tour.” It’s pretty funny. The two comedians asks the people in attendance for their “favorite hits,” referring to Sanders stance and political platform (like free education and higher taxes on the wealthy). Some of the attendees are in on the jokes and some look lost with the festival fever trope.
Remember that I’m not here to push some kind of political candidate on you, just to make you laugh. If I did however had some kind of stance on Sanders, then I would probably post a video like that below for you to see. That’s how you would know if I had a stance on this whole Democrat primary election.
Till next time and vote intelligently, Sype.
Old People Things: Part 2
By: Koko and Airec
Welp, here we are again to tell the world that we’re getting older! During one of our frequent conversations about our aging bodies and our concerns of today’s youth, we realize again that time is still not on our side. So as we grow older (and hopefully wiser) we start to notice all the things we do differently, and the changes in the ways we view and navigate the world. This lead us to some realizations (again) that makes us a little more our age and young adult-ish.
So here is our continuation of Old People Things. We present to you, the long-awaited, part 2!
1. If 2 or more things must be remembered- you have to start a list
2. Personal property insurance
3. Planning what your children’s names will be
4. Having several bank accounts, all for different purposes
5. Your body has its own bedtime
6. A cup of coffee is a morning ritual
7. A ‘crazy Friday night’ means a bottle of wine and The Bachelorette (Airec is animes and sitcoms)
8. It takes 2 days to recover from 1 night of drinking
9. You wish you could still dial POPCORN to find out the accurate time so you can properly adjust your wrist watch
10. You wear a wrist watch
11. You’re old enough to know what POPCORN was
12. You always have Pedialyte in your fridge- ready and waiting
13. Thinking of how inappropriate a girl’s clubbing/festival attire is
14. Standing around awkwardly at an 18+ Club
15. Having Icy-Hot within arm distant
16. Thinking of names for your future pet and what kind
17. Tipping correctly
18. TUMS. So many TUMS.
19. Choosing to get a hotdog before heading home to cook over partying with a bunch of 21 year olds on a Thursday night
There it is, 19 ways we are older now. We both have felt the cruel wrath of time as our own bodies continues to break down. It doesn’t feel like it now, but you will get old someday; it’s just a sad fact of life. We’re sure that soon we’re gonna have another list of how we are entering adulthood. So watch out for that. There’s no denying that our party side is now slowing down and our ideas of fun are shifting. We just accept the fact that we’re old people now, but hey(!), we’re still cool!
Till next time, Koko and Airec.
A little Humor Before Gay Pride San Francisco
By Airec Sype.
As many knows by now, Trevor Noah will be replacing Jon Stewart on The Daily Show later this year on September 28th. Noah will be the 3rd person to succeed a host for the show and the fans were not too happy when they heard the announcement. You can read this Huffington Post article on what Stewart ha to say about Noah and why the fans were outraged, but I’m here to talk about the video of his standup that I shared.
Pride week is upon us in San Francisco, and this weekend is about to be crazy. I work in a “tourist” restaurant so I’ve been preparing for the chaos that is about to unfold: there will be drunk people in short shorts (mainly dudes rocking out with their c*cks out), out of towners coming into SF f*cking the city up, leaving a rainbow puke trail that’s composed from many and countless dance parties with music ranging from hip-hop to funky house.
Just to be clear, I don’t hate what Pride stands for, I just hate how the city is trashed with people who don’t respect the cause. For example, someone got shot two years ago at the parade party at Civic Center. That doesn’t seem too prideful to me . . . well thats a different kinda pride.
So to mentally prepare myself for this upcoming weekend, I like to have a few laughs. I saw this video today and had to share it to the world (of blogging). Noah recounts his journey in Zambia and tells us how it’s a crime to be gay. He paints a funny picture; especially the idea of a gay crime force taking down undercover gays (or G-Foroce or G-Unit for short).
Please don’t take any offense from it. He doesn’t mean no harm and neither do I. I played football so I’ve done a little towel whip or ass slap or c*ck sucking pantomimes. No homo. I kid, but I do have respect for those who have embraced themselves and chosen to come out of the closet; I’m straight and I don’t hate gay or lesbian people. Well I love lesbians . . . but that’s besides the point.
I wanna make a shout-out to two of my homosexual #Bros4Life, Bryan Chu and Lance Blair. Chu is an amazing gymnast and borderline ninja (also an amazing writer, but shhh don’t tell him that.) Blair, well, I hate that guy, his dark skin, pretty face, ripped abs. I hate/love (no homo ;p) him, but he is one awesome dude. Two of the coolest gay bros I know.
*That white guy isn’t one of the two.
If y’all do decide to take part of San Francisco Pride, please be safe and don’t trash the city. I know I’ll be out there in support of all my G-Bros out there. No hate y’all, equality for all!!! Yeah, I know that was lame. If you don’t know what to do for Pride and need some pointers, check out BuzzFeed list of 16 tips for a successful weekend.
Also, a bonus video since we’re talking about gay bros, here is a classic LifeAccordingToJimmy video called “Pinky Promise.” Gotta love that classic middle school question, “Does your dad know you’re gay?” Super funny. Bro.
Jimmy Tatro Shows Us “How To Have Sex On a Plane”
By Airec Sype.
YouTube bro-king, Jimmy Tatro, produced a “How To” video about having sex on a plane with Brittney Furlan on his LifeAccordingToJimmy page. Although I doubt that this would work in real life, especially now that this guide for all you bros and hoes out there is out for all GDIs to see. It does provide some useful tips just-in-case you wanna try having sex on a plane.
So if you feel ballsy enough, try it out. I know I wouldn’t try it. Not because I wouldn’t mind joining the “Mile High Club” but mainly because I’m a giant p*ssy. This isn’t attributed to my Asianness, it’s just because I’m scared of getting caught. Also the idea of having sex next to the shitter probably would make me wanna shit myself. Iono, I just have a bowel problem and I enjoy my time on the throne. Or at work I call it “my office.”
I’ll admit that I haven’t thoroughly enjoyed a Jimmy T video as much as this one. I will agree with other people, via Internet, that the old Jimmy is back.
Also, I don’t know who this Brittney Furlan is but it seems like the YouTubers in the comment section hates her. She’s hot enough to get my attention. Unless she’s like a racist or doesn’t date Asians then I don’t really have any reasons to trash her name.
Till next time, Sype.
Oh and GO PI KAPPS!!
EPIC HALO vs CALL OF DUTY!!!
By Airec Sype.
RackaRacka released an epic video of Call of Duty players battling Master Chief on YouTube earlier this week. This video contains it all: pestering grandmas, nerdy man-child(s), Elite energy swords and yes, even the non-stop barrage of C.O.D. zombies. Well instead of Nazi zombies, we have a bunch of old people . . . so kinda like zombies.
I came across this video while at work and I instantly knew that I had to sneak away in the bathroom to watch it. One of my managers walked in half-ways through and I didn’t care because I had a smile that stretched across my face, as wide as my eyes because this video is that got dang awesome.
This short has it all, all the weapons and mods and care packages that every F.P.S. (First Person Shooters for you non-virgins-before-19 out there) nerd can want in a live-action video. Although the ending of the video doesn’t really answer the age-long question about “Which FPS shooter is better, Halo or Call of Duty?” You can still leave satisfied as you watch these fans duke it out in attempt to please the inner-nerd in all of us.
THEY EVEN GOT THE HALO T-BAG!!!
For anyone who no longer has the time for video games, RackaRacka will remind you of that childhood that was not too long ago. I can’t help but think of microwavable foods, stale cherry pies that cost a dollar from Food4Less, the stench of man-boys who haven’t showered in days because of the relentless video game playing. (Well, this went on until high school because I eventually started playing sports and had to hide my nerdy Asian side from all the cute white girls . . . go ahead and ask me about Dance Dance Revolution.) Oh yeah, this definitely touched that little Asian boy inside of me . . . in a non-sexual way.
Be sure to check out other RackaRacka videos on their YouTube page. They got some good ones on there for your other nerdy pleasures.
Till next time and keep playing video games, growing up is a trap!!!
Happy Not So Happy Mother’s Day!!!
by Airec Sype.
It’s Mother’s Day! Or it was Mother’s Day. I surprisingly found out a bunch of random and dark information off of National Geographic article by Brian Handwerk while researching how to correctly spell M-Day.
Also, a fun fact, this year marks the 101st birthday for this Hallmark holiday.
If you read Handwerk’s article then you will find out that this holiday is much more than afternoon brunch in the Marina, over-priced flowers and posting an Instagram picture of you and yo momma.
The roots of M-Day started in the 1850s when Ann Reeves Jarvis organized a Mother’s Day festival . . . I mean workshop (LOL MILF Festivals) . . . to “improve sanitary conditions and try to lower infant mortality by fighting disease and curbing milk contamination.” This army of mothers also tended to the wounded from both sides of the U.S. Civil War.
After Jarvis’s death, her daughter Ann Jarvis (same name) created Mother’s Day in 1908 to honor her deceased mother. The reason why Jarvis decided the name should be “Mother’s Day” instead of “Mothers’ Day” is because today is the day to celebrate “the best mother you’ve ever known,” this day is not to celebrate all mothers. Let’s face it, some moms can be b*tches.
The sad part about the Jarvis story is that she spent most of her life trying to fight the commercialism of Mother’s Day. Her intimate day to love her mother was rapidly stolen from her. The American capitalists saw that there was money to be made and transformed M-Day into what we now as overpriced flowers and a cheap reason to bring your mom to a bar for a free shot. Well not my mom- she’s Asian so she doesn’t drink. Alcoholism only runs in the boy’s side of my family (;P)
With Americans spending about $19.9 billion a year on M-Day and reports saying that M-Day is the most popular day for dinning out, it makes me a little sad that Jarvis made no money from this. She was obviously not successful in her battle against the evils of the mainstream and commercialism.
Instead of capitalizing on the financial success of her holiday, she took the high road and did not give in to greed. She never had children of her own so it’s tragic to see her one creation taken from her and reshaped into something she hated in front of her very eyes.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed Mother’s Day. I almost forgot to call my mom yesterday. She would have been a sad panda . . . I’m a bad Asian. So next year remember it’s about showing your mother how much you love her, and not about expensive gifts. However, if your mom does expect an expensive gift then she doesn’t love you and is only using you so you need to break up with her and get a new mom who will love you unconditionally.
Keep up the good work moms of the world. And you bad moms out there, tisk tisk.
Till next time, Sype.
SNL Offends EVERYONE on the Internet with Teacher Rape Skit
By Airec Sype
The internet was lit on FIRE when Saturday Night Live premiered their skit, “Teacher Trail,” last week which displayed a fictional trail of a teacher who is accused of having sex with a student.
I’m usually a MadTV fan, but once in awhile I’ll come across a SNL skit that I didn’t find too over-the-top-witty and just damn right funny. This was one of those moments.
After watching the skit and hearing the outrage of the moms of Twitter, I didn’t find it offensive at all. It was just a satire on these hot female teacher rape cases (AKA every prepubescent boy-who-has-ever-watched-porn dreams). I mean, I wish I had sex with the cheer-leading coach when I was in high school, but I guess that rite is reserved for the chosen ones.
Harry Shuldman of the NYPost called the skit “tasteless” in his article. He provides some example of the angry tweets about the comedic portrayal of a boy statutory rape. The examples claimed the skit to be “not funny” or just “wrong” because of the rape subject.
Uproxx has even more examples of offended people in their article concerning this controversial skit. But if you scroll down to the comment section of the piece, many commenters were not offended and shared a chuckle or two. Dan Del Aguaro simply said, “Oh get over it, it was hilarious.”
I’ve talked about this before, the thin line between comedy and offense in my SorryAsianParents blog. It’s true that there is a fine line between those two and that’s where the comedy lies: in between the cracks, exposing truth and humor. It simply comes down to intent of offense. Was SNL trying to offend people with their skit? No, probably not. Did they glorify rape for every teenaged boys fantasy? Hell yeah!
No wonder everyone claims that Americans like to be offended. It’s actually #101 on the Stuff White People Like blog.
Let’s get it right here, rape is bad. But is it wrong when a teen boy finally gets to bang that hot-teacher-that-every-boy-wants-to-bang-stamping-his-name-in-the-high-school-fraternity’s-history? Yeah, there’s no right way to do it actually. But let’s not pretend the boy whom hand is now broken from all the high fives isn’t also guilty. Unless the victim accused the teacher of unsolicited advances . . . well it’s actually still rape, but all those high fives doe.
Getting off point here. SNL is just a comedy group trying to comment on today’s society. “Teacher Trail” was not “tasteless” and it was done in a good manner. Cecily Strong portrayal of the teacher the right on the money as she portrayed her character like . . . well a school girl, in lust. Pete Davidson was right to be a gloating teenager because if Strong was my teacher, I . . . actually wouldn’t know what to do because I’m a scared lil Asian boy. The judge and father in the skit also represents how some phallic-centric-masculine-America feels when a teenage boy slashes a hot teachers gash.
Don’t get mad at SNL for how they portrayed their “truth” of this crisis in America. If you want to point the finger at someone then point it at the teachers who are betraying their code of conduct and the American judicial system for giving hot female teachers light sentences. Like in Denise Keesee case in Oregon, who received only 30 days for having sex with a 16-year-old.
Figure out who’s really at fault here when you form your lynching mobs. Leave comedians out of this fight, and if you can’t handle the(ier) truth then stop watching comedy.
Till next time, Sype
Here is a bonus of the names the kid was called in the skit, provided by GoldenTrawick of YouTube:
Luckiest guy ever
Good year pimp
Ren and Pimpy
King of the Teachers
After school special
The boy who lived
Gavin the Great
Magic the Gavining
Supercalifragilistic-this be such a dope kid
He who has sex with teachers