max greenfield

Can’t Get Enough of “New Girl’s” Schmidt!!!

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By Airec Sype

“I want to wander into your Narnia of sexual terror and emerge like a freshly birthed calf.”

Ridiculous statements like this that express feelings with the vocabulary of a douche-bag is what drives viewers to love the fictional character Schmidt on Fox’s sitcom “New Girl.” Although it’s safe to say that every character on the show is uniquely loveable, Schmidt (played by Max Greenfield) always finds a way to climb into our hearts and ache our sides.

If you haven’t been following “New Girl” then the YouTube clip posted above will give you a sample of Schmidt’s ¬†outrageously hilarious nature. And if you haven’t been following “New Girl” (it’s in its fourth season btw), then all I have to ask is what’s wrong with you?!?!?!

In my personal opinion, this has been one of the best sitcoms since “How I Met Your Mother.” This is my personal opinion that isn’t based on some kind of TV facts or percentage or pie chart of TV shows out there; I don’t have those numbers and I’m not that kind of Asian to find it . . .

But to prove a bit of my opinion, you can find some of the awards and nominations that “New Girl” has received at this Wikipedia page. The list includes an award for Most Exciting New Series in 2011 and numerous of nominations for Best Comedy Series. I guess if I was that kind of Asian then I guess I would have done some real work and got facts off a more reliable page. (Wikipedia put me through college, so we have a history together #sorryasianparents)

“New Girl” is a single-camera situational comedy that follows a set of roommates (1 girl and 3 boys) and their wacky adventures living in LA. A lot of their misadventures involves the common obstacles that we face in life (romance, roommate living situations, friendship, that one douche bag friend who says stupid things all the time, and of course sleeping with your friends), making the show hitting-too-close-to-home relatable if you’re in your mid 20’s to 30’s.

Of course there isn’t as many penises and cock-teases (mind the pun) of dragons like in HBO’s “Games of Thrones,” or as many mystery’s as ABC’s “Lost,” but “New Girl” still pulls its punches with its great writing to make you laugh till your guts hurts and nearly shat your pants.

But back to Schmidt.

He’s that one guy that will say off the wall assertions that will make you always remember him. Like that one friend who says the most stupidest, most ridiculous, borderline offensive things that you were too afraid to say but it’s hilarious, kinda friend. He lingers in your mind like George Costanza.

As the Schmidt sage continues, one cannot forget a trope that original fans will always remember, the “Douche Bag Jar.” BuzzFeed has kindly compiled 27 relateable Schmidt quotes here. Despite those being hilarious, douche-baggy statements like these cannot go unpunished, or else this would inspire a wave of yuppie, boat-shoe wearing, fake tan having, douche bags shooting their mouths off . . . possibly.

“You’re a lesbian and a gynecologist, which makes you, well . . . a vaginous.”

Great fusion of words there, Schmidt. But still, that’s a dollar into the douche bag jar – a check and balance of Schmidt unflattering side.

But why are words like douchey and yuppie automatically used to describe Schmidt? Why are people easily turned off by his lifestyle and witty wordplay? I believe it’s because people cannot handle him, for Schmidt is a man who speaks the truth: for he is a visionary of the modern-day man; he is the combination of fashion and musk. He says the thoughts that we all think but are too afraid to say with use of colorful imagery.

The shows light may shine on Nick Miller, but it’s Schmidt who takes the stage and lets us know his presence. Nick lets life takes him away with its current, Wilson is too goofy for his own good, but Schmidt takes action; he knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to let his needs be known!

Along with his San Francisco-Marina-like side, Schmidt does have a heart. This fitness obsessed, career driven, Jewish man was not always this douchey. Originally a fat kid, Schmidt does have a soft side. With his constant pursuit after Cece and his selfless acts for his friends, one can accept his outlandish comments and¬†unpleasantries. Here are some loveable moments at BuzzFeed’s 40 Things That Will Make You Love Schmidt Even More.

Would this show continue if Max Greenfield didn’t portray the animated and loveable man with a deviant smile that’s up to no good trickster named Schmidt? I think not. This witty Jewish man can turn any random coupling of words into a semi-offensive-witty-hilarious-break-you-from-concentration quote, which will probably turn into a meme with the help of the internet! Well, I’m sure the goofiness of the other characters will still drive the show, but none will be as memorably bold and loose-lipped as Schmidt.

PS, my buddy Juno often compares me to Schmidt since I grew up largely overweight and don’t have a filter for a mouth (so I tend to say stupid things). Probably why I wrote this tribute.

Here’s a bonus to make you feel even more euphoric, SCHMIDT QUOTES AS INSPIRATIONAL POSTERS!!!

get excited my friends!