With only just a few days till the Electric Daisy Carnival in Las Vegas, I think it’s time for me to provide some BROs v. PROs tips from my six years of attendance (embarking on my 7th year down the rabbit hole this year). This will be a continuation of my partner, Koko’s, blog post, “Hoes vs Pros: An Empowering Women’s Guide to EDC 2014.” So make sure you check her post out as well, she has a bit more information for the ladies than I do.
Before I continue on with this long laundry list of BROs vs PROs do’s and don’ts, I would like to say a DISCLAIMER!: I am not an expert in any field, except for the field of disappointing my Asian parents (which is why I created the hashtag #sorryasianparents), so I would like you to read this with a grain of salt; especially the BRO tips, those are to be taken lightly. These are things that I’m doing and that have worked for me in the past. I don’t want you hurting yourself or others and be coming after ME for it. I don’t wanna get sued.
(Asian accent) One more ting, I want to emphasize on the element of friends: The people you surround yourself with at EDC can make or break your experience. Make sure you trust the right people and make sure your friends are there for you and you for them. I know from experience that sometimes in the lowest of lows, your best friend can become your biggest enemy. EDC has shown me some of my friends’ true colors and it has affected those bonds, so pick your friends wisely.
Now let’s begin.
Usually everyone, from the moment you buy your ticket and even from the moment you leave the speedway the final day of EDC 2013, you think about how for the next EDC you’re gonna be in better shape. And if you’re already in better shape, you want to be in even better shape.
BRO TIP: Alright bros, it’s almost time for EDC and you wanna be swoll as fu*k. So how do you get there? It’s time to take some pre-workouts and magic diet pills where you can workout and eat as much as you want. Do a bunch of bicep workouts and chest flies, show them other betas and bitches that you’re a mutha effin Alpha at this rave. Suns out, guns out.
PRO TIP: Well, the best advice is to watch your diet. Sure you workout, but that only gives you a little leeway and doesn’t excuse you from eating whatever you want. You can chose to diet however you want, just make sure you listen to your body to avoid pushing your “weight loss” to harmful limits. Eat right and do a lot of cardio; trust me, your lungs will appreciate this.
REMEMBER: Supplements are there to help you, not build a magic body with no foundation. Supplements can help you obtain your goal of getting into better shape, but once you’re in Vegas and journeyed through the 3 days of EDC, workout supplements aren’t gonna be of much use. Your body is going to go through 3 days (even more days since you’re gonna be in Vegas for more than those 3 days of EDC) of partying, and a supplements-fueled body is going to be reduced to its basic form.
Also, I’ve been doing a lot of leg workouts to help me prepare for all the jumping that will occur. So DON’T SKIP LEG DAYS: lots of squats, calf raises, and of course body weight jump squats. You’ll never know when you’re gonna put that hottie that you’ve been eying all night on your shoulders for a ride so she can see her favorite DJs from a sky view.
Asides from diet and exercising, REST is really important. Your body cannot heal itself, nor lose the weight you desire unless you get rest. A good amount of rest is just as important as an E-stack.
Supplies/Attire: Stuff will get destroyed so be prepared to lose shit.
Life always favors the well prepared. I forgot who said that, or maybe that is just grinded into my brain because I’m Asian and we always like to plan things, iono.
BRO TIP: Tanks, sunglasses, dr*g, money, tickets, hoes. All. You. Need.
PRO TIP: You don’t want to wear some flashy Nikes to EDC, you want to wear something that is comfortable to jump around in or something that you wouldn’t mind destroying. Trust me, after 3 days in the Speedway your going to want to throw those shoes out with all the dusk and holes (not to mention all the urine or other humanly fluids that you will have stepped on in the port-a-potty) that they will accumulated.
PRO TIP: You also can’t show off those awesome (or in my case awkward-standing-and-twitching) dance moves without the proper bottoms. Shorts are usually ideal for this kind of situation, especially in the heat of Vegas. Sometimes I would wear hipster jeans that I cut off at knee length (they show off my nice ass and hard calves baby). But make sure you chose the right kind of jeans. The first time I tried this I used Abercrombie jeans . . . horrible mistake. The ones that work for me are Levis jeans, they are a bit more elastic and comfortable. If you have a pair of raver pants, by all means wear ‘em if you can stand the heat.
PRO TIP: You shouldn’t care about how you dance, IT’S EDC and no one else is going to care. This is a judgment free zone where you can express freely through your own form of dance. Go ahead and let loose, have some fun; move your arms and jump around. You’ve waited a whole 365 days for this and you can’t let someone judgments weight you down! Be yourself and the fun will follow.
REMEMBER: Although EDC is the main reason why you’re in Vegas, it’s important to bring some “Vegas” clothes just in case you decide to hit up a club. It never hurts to look nice.
REMINDER: It’s also really important that you bring some comfortable clothes. That Vegas heat will kill you if you don’t prepare for it. Plus, you don’t want to be sweating balls I’m sure.
PRO TIP: The Fanny-Pack! I know that some people make fun of me for wearing a fanny-pack at raves, but come-on, they’re so useful. You can put stuff in it like cigarettes, maps, water-bottles, lighters, iono whatever, in it so you won’t feel discomfort while twitching around at EDC. Other useful fanny-pack items are Vicks, gum, and chapstick. Well, if you go to raves then I don’t really need to explain this one. You might have to sneak some of these stuff in so guys, I recommend clenching ’em between your balls. But make sure to wrap some kind of tissue paper around ’em so when you actually use these illicit items, they won’t be smelling the your ball-sweat. (Side Story: Juno and I during EDC 2009 snuck in Vicks vapor rub sticks and our entire group ended up partaking it’s menthol aura . . . so in a non-direct way, we kinda t-bagged our friends.)
PRO TIP: Extra supplies like cigs, chapstick, Vicks, candy, whatever, are great tools for making new friends. Offer some to those in need and a friend will be made in the exchange.
BRO TIP: Use em to get hoes!
PRO TIP: Avoid being selective to those in need and (when you can) avoid being a douchebag (I know I sometimes don’t think and fall to this trait.)
Snacks are important, especially if you’re broke or just don’t wanna leave your hotel room. Bring something easy to chew- y’all know this one, right? Another thing that I like to bring is a meal replacement shake or something like Ensure or Slim-fast. You don’t really have to listen to this one, but I recommend it. In those times of post-hungover-don’t-want-to-eat EDC moments, these shakes are easy to digest and has lots of protein, carbs, fiber, and calories that your body is desperately needing due to 12 hours of raging with alcohol and other party favors.
BRO TIP: Walk in with your bros after a hard pregame because shit aint cheap at EDC. Pregame your dome off and try to meet some cuties on the shuttle buses; get them digits. Then you walk in with your bros and find some hoes to grind on. F*ck the timesluts (timeslots)! LETS GET FU*KED UP!!!
PRO TIP: Solidify your schedule. I like to make sure I know who I’m seeing and who else wants to enjoy those DJs with me. When I go to EDC, it’s for the music and the experience, not to get laid. Well, I mean if I meet an awesome girl then I guess that’s a little extra. So I like to make sure I look at the time slots to make sure I know where I’m going and my friends know where I’m going to be.
PRO TIP: Since I don’t have a smart phone and just a flip-phone (this is because I’m poor and I’m spending all my money at raves), I like to text myself and my friends the car’s location. The parking lot of the Speedway is gridded so each section of the parking lot has a specific spot.
BRO TIP: Just get into EDC as fast as you can so you don’t miss anything. It doesn’t matter if you don’t remind yourself where your car is, just get in! If you do lose your car, just aimlessly wander around in the dark parking-lot. You’ll find the car . . . eventually.
PRO TIP: Make sure everyone in your car has each-others’ numbers and a specific time and place of where to meet up. This happened to me last year when my phone died and my iTouch didn’t have my friend, Cpt. Ahab’s, number. This caused a lot of frustration. You can also write down important numbers and important (hotel) addresses on a card and keep it in your wallet. This also depends on you NOT LOSING SHIT!!!
PRO TIP: Have a meeting spot. If your festival group is as big as mine, about 70 people big #ZipperSquad, then you will need to have designated meet up times. Last year we usually did every 3 hours or so. This will help on group pictures. We all know that one person in the group, or in my group 5 unnamed girls, that loves to take group pictures all the time. This way you can help them complete this Xbox achievement now instead of hearing them nag about not being able to take a group picture later.
PRO TIP: MAKE SURE YOU GUYS AGREE ON A MEET UP SPOT! Last year my group was suppose to meet up at the Zipper ride, but little did we know that there were TWO DIFFERENT ZIPPER RIDES! With the lack of telecommunications, a bunch of us kept appearing at different Zippers. Which then cause us to run around from one end of EDC to another. One of the negatives that this meet up situation is that the meet up could be during one of your favored DJ sets. You gotta pick and choose on what you want to do; I can’t choose for you.
BRO TIP: If you lose your friends then try and find a hoe. If you can’t find a hoe then FREAK THE F*CK OUT!!!
PRO TIP: Chances are you will lose people, or you yourself will get lost. So it’s important to keep track of your friends. I’ve seen some couples wearing chains made up of kandi before in the past. That’s a good idea . . . if you’re dating them! DO NOT engage in that kind of commitment (I know I hate commitment of any kind, ask the few girls I’ve tried dating) if you are not dating that person or not wanting to . . . how do I say this . . . have a magical evening with he/she. You can also hold hands with someone while traveling through crowds, but we all know bros don’t hold hands, it’s in our masculinity manual. I mean, I’m not homophobic but bros usually just don’t hold hands with bros . . . unless you’re a gay bro, then you can hold whatever you want. But I’ll hold your hand Lance (;P)
PRO TIP: If you do get lost, then I just enjoy it. Some of my most fun moments was when I got lost at EDC and wander abouts by myself. Try to enjoy the experience and don’t freak out. If you remember your meetup times then you should be safe. Also, try to make some new friends out of this. Mostly everyone at EDC is friendly and knows that (mostly) everyone is there to enjoy the magical wonderland of the Electric Daisy Carnival.
GIRLS!!!!! Why men do sh*t that they don’t want
BRO TIP: When looking for a mate, it’s easier to find the most fugged up one. If she’s trippin’ when shes a walkin’ then you best be stalking. Once you find that hot babe where you think her E and C needs your D to complete her set, then you just keep eying her, make sure she knows you’re staring at her. You can either try using one of these sweet pick-up lines from LessThan3 or follow my simple bro-oves. First, you slowly start pumping your fist towards her. As you get near her make sure she smells your man juice. After she notices your presence, take her from behind with a sneaky back-attack like the Alpha you are and start grinding on that ass. If she doesn’t like it then it’s not your fault, she’s probably a slut anyways. Repeat. Done.
PRO TIP: Despite my lack of knowledge with girls (most of the time I try to act as if girls don’t even like me), I know it’s not a good idea to knife a random girl from behind. I mean, yeah sure it has worked for me in the past, but not every girl likes to be grinded on with your cubby; as BuzzFeed explains to us why grinding can be unpleasant. Well, unless you look like Channing Tatum of course, then you can grind on whatever girl is willing. So I had to ask Koko for this part of the tips. She says that it is important to make sure the girl notices you first before sneaking up on her from behind, and that it’s best to converse with her before trying to ask for some bump & grind. She says that it’s even better to ask a girl to dance. Also remember guys, dancing with a girl does not mean any grinding has to be involved, you can still dance with a girl and not have your lusting semi rubbing all up against her.
PRO TIP: If a girl rejects your invitation to dance or hook up, make sure you respect her decision. It doesn’t make her a slut if she chooses not to participate in your lustful intention. However, if she does reject you for being, oh iono, Asian or having a flip-phone, then maybe (just a little bit) she might be a bitch.
And remember girls, not every guy who approach you is trying to get into your pants (maybe). Try to make a friend out of it. And if the guy is a creep then just tell him to leave. This blog article by Eberhardt Smith, titled “Stop Saying “I Have a Boyfriend”” offers some good advice in this field. If he continues to aggressively pursue or if he calls you names, then remember that you have about 100,000 friends who will help you out of the situation. A real gentleman will respect you for your body as well as your mind.
END OF THE DAY
BRO TIP: GET THE F*CK OUT OF THERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN. F*CK EVERYONE ELSE AND SAVE YOURSELF FROM THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!
PRO TIP: Make sure you have all of your stuff before leaving. If you happen to lose something, walk over to lost & found to see if they have your stuff. Also, make sure your friends are with you.
PRO TIP: Make sure you refill your water bottles and use the bathroom before you leave, it’s going to be one long dreadful ride back to the hotel.
BRO TIP: If you need to pee, just go off the side of the road. F*ck the police.
Back at the Hotel
BRO TIP: Stop being such a p*ssy and drink up, snort up, and get ready to hit the pool parties. Since you didn’t eat anything and just danced for 12 hours straight, you’re gonna look hella ripped bro.
REMINDER: Girls always have a cheap ticket for pool parties, or free at times. Guys, you’re kinda f*cked on this one. Unless you know a promoter. But then again, EVERYONE is a promoter in Vegas. So try and get tickets in advance by searching for pool-parties online. Here is Global Dance Electronic list.
PRO TIP: After a solid night of raging it’s important to eat & rest. Even if you nap for 3 hours, it’s still more important than pounding a Red Bull and heading off to a pool party. I mean by all means attend a pool party, but make sure you’re in the right condition to do so.
Well, after powering through this you can take my “PRO” advice or just simply laugh along with my BRO-vice. Just remember that it’s important to put your health first. You can “live it up” or “YOLO,” but make sure your body can handle it. You’re at EDC to have fun, not die and END EDC for all of us. Also make sure your friends around you are safe and in good health as well. I know some of us festival goers like to partake in party favors, but don’t be afraid to approach the medic tent. Your life is more important than getting in trouble by mom and dad for partaking in the festival dark side. Insomniac has a list of do’s and don’ts as well, take a look at ’em. But just remember, always be a PRO raver and not (just) a BRO.
Here is this year’s teaser trailer:
We all know there’s only one reason people go to the gym – to look sexy naked.
We like take that one reason and create more elaborate excuses that make it seem like we have more profound, intelligent grounds for working out. But lets face it – if we really cared that much about our health, we’d pay more attention to what foods go into our pie holes as well as incorporating more physical activities into our daily lives outside of our gym time. We don’t have to have gym memberships to be healthy, we choose to flock to these bacteria-rampant, over-priced metal cages to pick up heavy things along side other sweaty people.
Although we all have the same reason for going to the gym, once we get to the actual gym we transform into 1 of 3 people: the bro, the creeper, or the energizer-bunny.
Take my gym experience this morning for example:
I walked into the gym and the first thing I did was take a subtle lap around the place to scope out what fellow gymers I’ll be gyming around today. The place was pretty desolate being that the Monday after Easter is also a national holiday in South Africa, but I did see one dude over in the corner doing some curls. I strutted past the pool and reach a row of seven empty treadmills. I hopped on the middle one which is right in front of a giant mirror. Yes, I’m that vain. But I’m a gym-bro: Muscle tank, headband ‘n all.
I put my ear-buds on and crank up my running playlist.
Sidenote: Necessary to every running playlist is:
& Tiesto’s – Elements of Life
I saw movement on my left side and glance over, a man is getting on the treadmill directly beside me. He mugged me and throws a head nod in my direction, I shot one back and immediately accepted the guy’s provocation. This bro wanted to compete.
These treadmills are too far apart to successfully complete the casual ‘I’m just scanning the room and oops! I checked your speed and mileage on your display’ move. So I just had to go off my magical unicorn instincts, gauging how fast and how far he’s running in comparison to myself. Now before coming to the gym, I told myself I’ll warm up with 2 miles before I hit the weights for some Olympic lifting, then finish off with yoga and abs. But once this bro tried to throw his head nods around like he’s king of the treadmills, I ended up running over 4 miles. I checked my watch and realized I’m cutting into my lifting time by racing this old guy, so I decided to take the high road and continue on with my gym sesh. I hopped off the treadmill and the guy stopped running to ask me how far I ran.
ARE YOU FOR REAL BRO!?!!
I almost said “Oh I’m not done” and got back on my treadmill just to outrun him, but decided it’s not worth it. I smiled and said, “4 miles,” and walked away, knowing that his South African brain is programmed to measure by kilometers and he’d spend the rest of the day struggling to figure out the conversion. haha. I. win.
Why do we always want to compete with people working at the same machines? There are many reasons. Some of us are just natural born competitors, always looking for an opportunity to beat other people so we can feel better about ourselves. If this is you, then you are a gym bro. (Sype approves of this message)
Every once in a while there’s a sexy gazelle that you have to one-up by showing your strength as a way of impressing her and getting her attention.
As so describe by the bro Dom Mazzetti in …
I may just be paranoid, but I think some dudes just come to the gym to creep on females, and occasionally tone their biceps in the process. GYM CREEPERS!
Ask any girl and they will tell you there is at least one time during every gym sesh where she feels eyes undressing her, she glances around with her peripherals and BOOM! There’s a dude trying to low-key stare from a distance. So fucking creepy.
If you’re gonna stare, at least be slick about it! I’ll admit, I can appreciate a physically fit physique as much as the next girl, but if I’m gonna cop a glance it’s gonna be subtle as fuck. I’m not tryna interrupt anyone’s workout by being a creeper, nor do I want to be pegged as a gym creeper. If you’re gonna check someone out- don’t be so creepily obvious about it OR if you want someone’s attention, go workout directly next to that person and workout so exuberantly they can’t help notice you.
On the flip-side, some chicks are just asking for attention…
Not everyone in the gym is there to compete with people or to pick up chicks. Every now and then you’ll notice someone in the gym who’s all strung out on pre-work out – he probably has an idea of what muscle groups he wanted to target but once that Ravage kicks in, he’s running from machine to machine with no clear pattern or focus as he’s doing one set of each movement from calves to biceps to jump-roping and now he’s on an elliptical? We’ve all been there. Not gonna lie, I’ve been there too. A little overdose on that pre-workout will turn a focused, planned gym sesh into a circus of I-Dont-Know-What-The-Fuck-I’m-Doing-But-I-Have-Energy-For-Days!!!!!
There’s also another kind of energizer gym bunny who’s not on pre-workout, but rather a middle-aged mid-life crisiser who’s never been to a commercial gym but wants to burn off that beer gut so he’s sporadically diddling around the entire gym trying to figure his life out. Props to that guy, better late than never. Keep picking up heavy things, you’ll get there eventually old man.
Whatever category of gym-goer you find yourself in, take comfort in the fact that everyone else is in the gym for the same reason as you. We all have a desire to look sexy naked, or at least be confident enough to parade around in a swimsuit during pool party season in Vegas.
Hoes vs Pros: An Empowering Women’s Guide to EDC
We’ve written about EDC many times in previous posts on our blog, mostly mocking the stereotypes that revolve around going to raves, and poking satirical fun. Well it’s a kicks and giggles until someone gets taken away on a stretcher. Now is the time to buckle down for some serious rave talk.
This year may be your first EDC ever, or maybe you’ve been around the massive block once or twice. Whatever your situation may be, there is always room for improvement in the massive game. Where to start? Well, there is a hell of a lot more to EDC than just attending the event. Here are some tid bits that may help…learned from friends and through personal experience.
Every day leading up to EDC has an impact on the whole experience
When you’re standing in the middle of a 300,000 people mosh pit…
holding hands with your best friends…
surrounded by the ones you love…
and you could cry over how beautiful it all is…
everything is so perfect…
That is what EDC is all about.
Lets make sure we prepare ourselves for it this magical moment.
Disclaimer: These tips are coming from a female perspective. Although some points are applicable to all genders, if you’re a guy you’ll want to check out my male-counterpart’s dude version: Bros vs Pros- A Male’s Guide To EDC 2014.
Getting Prepped For EDC
Diet & Exercise: You want to act as if preparing for a 3 day marathon. Meaning that you need to eat lean, train mean, and be ready for the most intense cardio you’ve ever experienced in your life. I won’t go into dieting details (I’m vegan so I doubt you’d follow my dietary recommendations), but to put it simply, EAT WELL IN THE WEEKS LEADING UP TO EDC. Don’t scarf down pizza and burgers every day then find yourself in the motor speedway huffing and puffing for dear life after only 5 minutes of fist-pumping. That being said, don’t starve yourself either. Your muscles need protein and some carb storage to fuel this 3 day carnival. Carbs are your friends.
ABS: Abs are made in the kitchen- not in the gym. NUFF SAID.
Pro Tip: Cardio – Do whatever cardio form that floats your boat. Aim for keeping that heart rate between 100-120 beats per minute without passing out.
Pro Tip – Spend significant time on a calf-raiser machine. You’ll thank me when you find yourself in the mosh pit of Kinetic Field, trapped shoulder to shoulder with glittery chicks and sweaty bros, no shuffling room, no elbow room; the only dance move you can attempt is a completely vertical up-and-down jumping motion, with an occasional fist pump thrown in. Your gastrocs need to be formally trained for this.
Supplies: Gum & chapstick: You are allowed to bring gum and chapstick into the motor speedway as long as they are sealed. So go to the store, buy 3 individually sealed packs of gum, and 3 individually sealed things of chapstick. Bring 1 to each day of EDC. If you’re the type of person that doesn’t usually chew gum or need chapstick when you’re feeling yourself – bring them anyway. Trade them for light shows, massages, or just give them out for free because you’re a nice person. DO IT. Vics nasal inhaler – you’re not allowed to bring these in, so you must sneak them in. I’ll let you figure out how to do that on your own.
Pro Tip: A small pack of tissues. As sucky as it is- you will find yourself in a port-o-potty that doesn’t have toilet paper. Also bring a small bottle of hand sany. Disclaimer: some security guards might not let you bring these 2 things in, while others won’t care. It’s a hit or miss, but it’s always worth a try!
Pro Tip: Bring a fanny pack/small backpack (must be smaller than 12 in x 12 in – Insomniac regulation). CanNOT be a plush material.
You do not have enough pockets or bra space for all the shit you will need for EDC. Trust me on this- you need something that straps to your body to hold all your shit. Phone, keys, 3-day pass card, chapstick, gum, kandi, any and all other random whit you will accrue throughout the course of the night. Don’t ask me how, but you will accumulate random shit…3D glasses, sunglasses, stuff you buy at the merchandise tent. Oh, and of course your Insomniac reusable aluminum water bottle.
Pro Tip: A watch- You don’t wanna dig through your bag and pull out your cell every time you wanna know what time it is. That will create too many opportunities for losing your phone, and also drain your battery. If you’re like the Zips and you have 8-12 DJs to see per night, it’s extremely helpful to have a wrist watch to keep track of the time and know when you need to move stages or when you have a meeting time with the rest of the crew.
Attire: OH boy, this is all individual. But some pro tips I have for attire would be:
1. Sunglasses. When the sky starts to lighten around the 5am hour, and dawn breaks over the motor speedway, you will really really really appreciate sunglasses to hide the mascara and glitter streaked around your dime-sized pupils. Cover that shit up. Keep sunglasses in whatever stuff-carrying-device you choose to strap to yourself.
2. Comfy shoes. Ladies, do NOT wear heels, slippers, or strappy sandals. Full-foot-covering tennis shoes are the way to go. Common choices also are TOMS,Vans and slip-ons like Ed Hardys. My advice is to go with something similar.
DON’T’S: Steer clear of anything you will constantly have to fumble with all night. Realistically, you will be in that motor speedway for at least 10-12 hours (if you go as hard as the Zipper Squad). The last person you wanna be is that girl who stops the whole group asking for help readjusting, re-tying, “help me I don’t know what to do because my wimpy bra strap just broke,” type of person. Anything you wear into that motor speedway is gonna come out dusty, dirty, covered in sweat, glitter, body paint, and tears. Accept this fact and you will have graduated to the level of Pro EDC outfit planner.
Don’t bring anything into the speedway that you aren’t prepared to lose, damage, or break. Shiz happens. Leave valuables at the hotel.
Pro Tips: Re-enforce all of your bra straps – meaning get a needle and thread and make sure you sew that shit solid, so there will be no wardrobe malfunctions in the middle of the night. Do this for everything and anything you think might be flimsy and easily breakable on your outfits. Tutus are the way to go. Life would be better all-around if we could just wear tutus all the damn time, but we can’t. So take advantage of this 3 day circus and wear a tutu every day. Tutus are simple, low-maintenance, and super effing cute.
Pro Tip: If you drove, take pictures of everything around your car: landmarks, light poles, scenery. This will help you find your car when its 6am and its time to leave. The last thing you want is to be roaming the dusty desert parking lot for 3 hours because you can’t find your car and don’t remember where you parked because you were too excited to pay attention the night before. (This has happened) -_-
Solidify The Night’s Schedule: Take a few minutes to run through your crew’s plan. What time you’re leaving, what sets to see/your set schedule, what time you’re leaving, group meet up times and group photos. If you roll with a large crew (50+), this planning time is absolutely necessary. Or even if it’s just you and a couple friends, communication is key to enhancing everyone’s EDC experience. Don’t just assume people know what’s going on.
Pro tip: Have a meeting time & place every few hours.
Example: meet at the drop-zone, OR THE ZIPPER, at 10pm, 12am, 2am and 4am. This way, if anyone is lost, or if you just wanna connect with other group members, you’ll always have a time and place to gather together.
Inside the speedway: Zipper Squad always meets at the Zipper.
So the magical moment has come. You begin your descent down the bleachers and are holding back the tears while looking out at the shimmery heaven that is the Las Vegas Motor Speedway. What do you do first? MERCH TENT for water bottles, potty break, then hit your first stage. Or if your crew doesn’t have a set you wanna see at that moment – pick a ride to go on! But first things, first. WATER. Hydrate the f**k up. Stand in that line, get your reusable Insomniac bottle, and worship that thing for the next 3 days. Hoes allow themselves to dehydrate. Or if they do choose to down some agua, they buy plastic bottles and trash the planet.
Pro Tip: reusable Insomniac bottle. DO IT. Plus it’s a super awesome souvenir to take back to reality. I still use mine erry damn day.
Before the magic set in and your eyes are too jittery on euphoric emotions to read the speedway map, mentally mark out where each of the restrooms are. Hint – there are four, one in each ‘corner’ of the speedway.
Pro Tip: When facing the stands, the restrooms in the corner on the left of the bleachers are the most well-lit, least-used, and therefore cleanest bathrooms.
Pro Tip: ALWAYS GO WITH YOUR GROUP. NEVER SOLO-MISSION TO THE BATHROOMS!!! Make your group go together all at once. Even if someone says they don’t need to go, remind them that it’s better to at least try now then to be in the middle of a rage-fest set and to have to dig out to find the bathrooms alone.
Pro Tip: Always kill 2 birds with 1 stone when it comes to water and bathrooms. You’re already out & about. Might as well make sure everyone is good on water & bathrooms in the same trip.
Pro Tip: Wanna boost your magical experience back up? Eat a fresh orange, and wash it down with some fresh-squeezed lemonade. You will not be disappointed. There are tents for fresh fruits and fresh lemonade. TAKE ADVANTAGE!!!
Keep from cramping!!! Buy some Powerade and alternate your water intake with Powerade intake.
Pro Tip: Don’t wanna pay $6 for a 16oz Powerade? Sneak in a Pedialyte electrolyte powder pack. It’s tiny- like the size of a stick of gum. Mix that shiz in your Insomniac bottle with some water. I personally prefer the Pedialyte route. But whichever you use, don’t be a hoe and think you only need water to survive. ELECTROLYTES SAVE LIVES.
Pro Tip: Designate a meeting place. Whoever you drove with or took the shuttle with: Have a meeting point for when the night is over. Hoes be like “I know we won’t separate so its fine”. Then you do separate, all of your cell phones die, or you don’t get reception. It’s 7am, you can’t find anybody. You don’t wanna go into the parking lot because what if they’re not out there? But security is kicking you out of the speedway. You don’t remember where the car is. Or you don’t know where the shuttle picks up. What do you do?? Take the leadership role early in the night and tell your friends what’s up. Say “Hey at 6am, we all meet at the Hug Life bear sign”.
Pro Tip: ALWAYS PREPARE FOR THE WORST!!!!
The Next Day
So It’s Time To Leave The Speedway: Refill your Insomniac bottle BEFORE you leave the speedway. You’ll want water for that 2 hour traffic jam getting out of the parking lot. ESPECIALLY if you’re shuttling it. If you drove, keep some water in your car for the drive home. Having water on hand is ALWAYS a good idea.
Pro Tip: the volunteers working the water refill stations abandon post usually before 5am. Get water before it’s too late. Make this a priority.
Supplements: You better bring whatever supplements you normally take at home, to Vegas. If you don’t normally take anything, well now is the time to start. It’s 8am. You have less than 12 hours to sleep, shower, and re-nourish your body before you’re back in the speedway again.
Pro Tip: bring a bottle of ibuprofen (your feet will hurt), a bottle of Rave Aid or 5-HTP (balance out your serotonin), and a bottle of potassium (reduce muscle cramps). Hoes will leave Vegas super dehydrated, nutrient-deficient, and sick with a fever. You just put your body through absolute hell. There is a right way to get it back to rage-face preparedness. Vitamin and water up.
Food After EDC: What to eat? Your body is going through a weird combination of still feeling magical so you’re not really hungry, but you need to feed your starving muscle children (broscience reference), all while you’re fighting that I’m-about-to-throw-up feeling. Stick with something simple.
Pro Tip: Have a bag of bagels and jar of peanut butter in your room, along with hella bananas. That way you can throw some nutrients into your stomach before noon, without having to leave the room. Take a shower, take a nap, and once you’ve digested some basic calories, you’ll be ready to brave the Las Vegas strip in search of a meal.
Pro Tip: Earl of Sandwich inside Planet Hollywood… perfectly sized hot, fresh sandwiches! They also sell a number of side pastas, fruits, and pastries. Plus, while part of your crew holds down your place in line, the rest of the crew can shoot over to Fat Tuesday (one Conveniently located in Planet Hollywood also!). You’re in Vegas: it’s never too early to start drinking! Not a day goes by where the ZipperSquad doesn’t snag some Earls and Fat Tuesdays!
Pro Tip: More sleep. Squeeze in another nap if possible. Even if only 30 mins to an hour. Mentally, you don’t think you need it. But physically, your body is DYING for a little more rest time. You don’t have to actually sleep if you really don’t want to. But fully lay down in bed and allow your legs to recuperate.
Pro Tip: Massage some lotion into your legs and feet. They need the extra TLC, moisture, and it will help with the soreness a lot.
I hope now you feel slightly more prepared to tackle the EDC beast. It’s a magical journey, you deserve to have the best possible experience.
Once you leave Vegas, the emotional after effects can be severe and it’s best to acknowledge the emotional roller coaster that you will feel in the days and weeks following EDC. For tips on dealing with PEDCSD (Post Electric Daisy Carnival Stress Disorder), see this blog.
A lot of these tips seem like simple no-brainers but, oh boy, do they make a world of difference in your experience.
I wouldn’t say I’m a master…there’s still so much to learn; through surviving countless massives, there are a lot of things I’ve fudged up. And through those mistakes- I learned the right ways to rave.
Don’t be a hoe raver; BE A PRO RAVER!