Girl: Anyone know where they offer stripper pole aerobics classes in the area?
Me: My house ;P
Today via Facebook, one of my friends back from home posted a status that announced her interest in a new form of exercising, Stripper Aerobics.
The girl is a good friend from high school, so I decided to take the opportunity to make a witty remark. I mean my friend is a pretty attractive girl, no lie about that, so she probably (or actually, if you look at her FB wall) gets a lot of guys randomly hitting on her. It’s the small town of Visalia, so you have those kinda guys creeping on her FB all the time. I guess it’s the small price you pay for being pretty.
Also, trolling on FB is something I’m really good at.
But stripper pole aerobics? YES!!!!!!!!!!!
Stripping is not degrading; therefore, there is no shame in wanting to do stripper aerobics.
Here is an article by Jean Lawrence on MedicineNet.com explaining how stripping aerobics can shed off those unwanted-latenight-icecream-binge.-
To give professional strippers credit, stripping is hard. And yes this is a real profession known as EROTIC DANCING. In fact, anytime you have to pay taxes (I’ve learned), it’s considered a real job in the eyes of the United State Government.
But you know what, I applaud you stripping aerobics. Stripping is hard, I’ve tried it. And trust me, my so-called-strip-show for a bunch of sorority girls one random drunk night was not as good as the ones I’ve seen on Broadway Street on a late night in San Francisco.
Think about all the movements you have to make, all the muscles you have to use to climb up that slippery (and gross I know) silver, sometimes gold, pole, and all the dance moves you’re going to have to choreograph or reinvent to entertain your tent-pitching-guest.
Look at Carmen Electra. With her series of videos Carmen Electra Aerobic Striptease, she is one of the first pioneer of stripping aerobics. You know what, say what you want. But at age 40, she looks good.”
So girls, if you want to pick up stripping aerobics, I encourage you to. I mean when you walk into a really professional strip club, you should look at how good of shape those girls are. And I use the words “really professional” pretty loosely.
Of course however, stripper aerobics can’t fix a stripper’s face; but that’s your luck of the draw when you decide to stumble into a strip club after you and your buddies decide to leave the bars.
Who knows, maybe one day what you learn in stripping aerobics can come in handy. Maybe one day, you’re going to be trap in a fire and the only way out was to shimmy up a greased up pole that smells like cheap perfume. Or maybe perhaps (this would probably be the more practical use) one day, you and your future partner are brain storming ways to spice up your marriage and voilà! You’re able to pull out what you’ve learn in your erotic dancing [;)] classes. Then after you give your marriage a lil-spicy-salsa, you’re going to think ‘Thank you Airec, for convincing me to take stripping aerobics.’
Wishing you girls all the best and please don’t hurt yourself, Airec 😉